The New York Times published an essay by writer Dominique Browning last week that begged the question, “Why can’t middle-aged women have long hair?”
Especially long gray hair.
It got me thinking about middle-aged (or older) women I knew and, hmm, she had a point. I couldn’t think of one woman over 50 who had gloriously long hair a la 63-year-old country singer Emmylou Harris. Not one.
Why?
Browning says people judge middle-age long hair so harshly, like they’re trying to cling to their youth. “I’ve heard enough by now,” she wrote, “to catalog the multitudinous complaints into several broad categories.
“Long hair,” she added, “is not the appropriate choice of grown-ups.”
(The story garnered more than 1,200 comments, by the way.)
Even Good Housekeeping, in posting a gallery of gray-haired celebrities, included just one photo of a long-haired woman — Harris — with the rest in age-appropriate lengths, varying from shoulder-length to pixie cuts.
Or, what we call the “Mom Haircut.” (You know what I’m talking about.)
So what’s going on here? Are women chopping their locks because it’s more socially acceptable — or because they don’t want to deal with long hair anymore? Someone tell me!
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To read all of Cat’s blogs, visit www.nonstophonolulu.com/thedailydish. Follow Cat on Twitter @thedailydish or send her an e-mail at [email protected].
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12 Comments
Personally the whole country is too obsessed with age. She is to old for you, you are a cradle robber, you should get hair transplants, why don’t you die your hair, your hair is too long for your age. Where does this madness end??? No wonder as a rule we are the unhappiest and rapidly becoming the unhealthiest nation on the planet. I saw happier people in poor sections of China, Thailand, and Haiti this year than I do in the US. Middle age women should grow their hair how they damn well please and tell the critics to STFU. IMHO.
@dbjack Best comment on here… critics can STFU! Sounds to me these “critics” are short-haired younger women who can’t “rock their hair” like the cougars can! LOL!
A timely question. It’s probably a cultural thing. Long white hair is one of those features associated with witches. Blame it on Hollywood or Halloween
regardless of opinions on whether long hair on older people is appropriate or not, the fact is, long hair on older people is difficult to manage. my guess is that here is a case of the cart preceding the horse. most older people have shorter hair than they did when younger (men and women) because as we age our hair changes. your hair dies long before you do.
your gray hair is dead hair, the folicles are still pushing it out there, but it’s a ghost of its former self. it’s brittle, dry, thinner- both in total volume and each hair individually. the bottom line on hair is; it’s just like the rest of the body; the older it gets the harder it is to maintain. if you ignore exercising your aging body, it will let you down when you still need it, so don’t let it go. but if you ignore you aging hair, it looks bad but it can’t keep you from playing golf or surfing.
if you want to go to the trouble of keeping the corpse looking good in the casket, go for it. we boomers were the first generation since the founding fathers to have really long hair and we say goodbye to it with more than a liitle regret.
some men (and a few women) have no choice. we hit middle age or even sooner, and our hair falls out. I still have all of mine, and it has been white since i was 45, but when it gets to a certain length, i can’t stand it anymore and i cut it back to John Glenn length. once i was getting a haircut and the stylist asked me if i used a ‘volumizer’. i said, ‘yes’, she said, ‘good’.
i’ve made a deal with my hair: ‘i don’t bother it. it don’t bother me.’
@turkfontaine But isn’t ALL hair, dead hair? White hair is white due to lack of pigment, not because it’s dead or because non-white hair is alive. (https://hula.me/d)
@hawaii2000 i think you’re right. all hair is dead. but when a bury my nose in my wife’s still blond sweedish mane, it feels so alive. me too.
@turkfontaine @hawaii2000 If hair were a live entity then no one would like to cut their hair volutarily.
Solution, everybody shaves their head then joins the Bolo Head Row club.
I think it’ s a social thing. Long hair=youth. My mom cut her hair short after she had my brother because she felt it was “time” but to be quite honest, I think she looks waaay better with longer hair. Long hair matches her face shape. bleh, who cares what people say..if an older lady likes her locks long then it’s all good. Every woman should rock it anyway she wants to.
TF seems to be really close to the heart of the matter. Young hair is shinier and healthier looking. It is easier to take care of, and it can survive bad color, curl whatever. With the indignities of time, stress, and declining regenerative properties, what once looked like part of a live animal now looks like an old mop. I am speaking of myself here, and not of anyone else, but I know that I am not alone.
most of my hair is pretty gray … people always seem more than ready to tell me when I need a haircut and the truth is when it starts to get or feel a little long on my neck, I head for the barber shop … I’ve never really let it grow out … as for women, I feel that women may do whatever they please with their hair … the only thing that would turn me off is dirty hair or hair that is in need of a shampoo
CAT: Throughout my life, women in short hair was always a head turner, I guess because there are fewer of them. They look neater, taller, and slimmer for some reason. I admit it, Halle Berry is a winner!
Long hair in maturity is not ONE issue…and, it’s not ageism, so much as a response to actual aging. Few older women have the good fortune of “spectacular” genes to allow us to continue to wear the long lustrious hair of our youth. As a blonde woman of 59, I know that the texture of hair changes with age. I wear my hair just above shoulder length (instead of elbow length), and I color my hair for two reasons; one is that, for me at least, as the gray hairs increased in number, my hair looked ever more lifeless & dull; (which carried over to my complexion…as in guilt by association, but actually because relection of light in any context is always important to our sense of color)… The second is that hair coloring product & the subsequent conditioning improves the texture (and calms down the crazy wireiness of gray hair) along with replacing the lost sheen and depth of color. As a result, I feel more energetic and less “washed out” to look in the mirror, which affects the mood, and I smile more. This, and a good moisturizer don’t make me look young, but do help me to look & feel more vital. The maintenance of long hair to keep it looking like anything other than hay, is just too much to deal with for most mere mortals! As for the length, I believe that if “society” is weighing in on the preference, it is in that surprized look you get from any young man in any situation who catches first, the glimpse of long, youthful looking hair, and then gets close enough to see the “maturity” in the face & immediately recoils… an experience NO WOMAN wants to have to repeat… So, a shorter, more “tailored” hairstyle is a good “early warning signal” to the unbridled imagination of a young stud on the prowl, and so saves embarrasment for all concerned, and the sudden, harsh realization that our feminine qualities are not eliciting the result they may once have…and who needs THAT? Besides…by the time a woman reaches a certain stage of life, we usually have lots more to think about and do, and we’d rather looked polished and confident than simply “sexy” to everyone we meet.