The Cat Dish
  • Musings
  • Food
  • #CatTravels
  • #BabyFox
  • #40trails
  • Videos
  • About Me
  • Contact

Here’s What Happened To My Dog Indy

By Catherine Toth Fox • December 10, 2020 • Musings

It’s the blog I’ve been dreading to write.

Indy, the day we rehomed him.

Today is Indy’s birthday. He’s 10.

And I’m not with him this year to celebrate.

Here’s what happened.

A lot of people have been asking me—mostly leaving comments on Instagram or Facebook—about Indy. Where is he? How come you’re not posting photos of him anymore?

For years, my smiley shih tzu-silky terrier mix, found in a cardboard box at the Hawaiʻi Kai Dog Park, was a social media star. He was beyond adorable, with those bright eyes, floppy ears and wild tongue. Instagram gold.

He was my faithful companion, shadowing me wherever I went. When I cooked, he was nesting between my feet. When I showered, he was waiting patiently outside the tub. I was almost never without Indy by my side.

Indy, when he was just a few months old.

Then I got married, moved into a new home with a new dog (my husband’s), got pregnant and had a baby.

Things changed—and things with Indy changed, too.

He became very protective of me, more than usual. He didn’t like my husband getting close to me at all. Several times he lunged at him, growling and clenching his underbite. Seconds later, though, Indy would be apologetic, almost crawling toward my husband with his tail between his legs and licking his face. It was strange—and stressful.

We lived like this for years, always mindful of how we interacted around Indy, always worried he would become aggressive. It was rare—but it still happened.

Once the baby came, though, I knew I had to get serious about this. The deal was if Indy ever got aggressive with our son, I would need to find a new home for him. And that, at the time, was not an option to me. I was going to do everything, try anything to make this work.

And I did.

I hired dog trainers. I exercised him more. I gave him CBD-infused treats. I read everything I could online and talked to other dog owners will similar situations. He was what’s called “resource-guarding” me, the way some dogs growl or snap when you get too close to something they consider valuable—rawhide, bones, food and, yes, even a person.

I talked to vets, to more dog trainers, to more dog owners, to friends. We separated him from the family, keeping him in one room while we were in another. I couldn’t risk anything happening to my son. But I hated seeing Indy gaze at us from behind a closed gate, wishing he could be near us. It broke my heart, but I didn’t know what else to do.

And then it happened.

Landon walked over to hug me while I was sitting on the couch in our living room. Indy had been lying on the couch near me. It all happened so quickly. Indy darted toward my son, growling and baring his teeth when my husband grabbed Landon and pushed Indy away.

Of course, Indy felt horrible about what happened. But my husband was done.

That night, I frantically texted a friend of mine who had been dealing with the same resource-guarding issues as me. I explained to her what happened and that I needed to rehome my dog. I was devastated. She empathized.

But she also had an idea.

Her neighbors were looking for an older rescue dog to take in. In fact, the woman had taken off from work that week to browse the local shelter for a dog. And she had a thing for silky terriers.

It was perfect.

The couple came over to meet Indy. Indy took to them right away. The deal was made: I would drop him off on a Wednesday for a week. Just to see how it would go.

That was back in February.

The last photo of Indy and me.

I can’t even write this without crying uncontrollably. I miss him every single day. I hate that I’m one of those pet owners who had to rehome her dog. (About 6 percent of households rehome their pets, mostly due to behavior and aggression.) It’s embarrassing. I thought I could figure out what to do, how to fix this, make it work for my family. And I couldn’t. No matter what anyone tells me, what experts say, what I’ve been told by vets and what I’ve read online, I feel like a failure. I failed Indy.

I wonder if he misses me. I hope he doesn’t think I abandoned him, that I don’t love him. I wish I could have explained to him what was going on. I dropped him off one morning, watched him run into the backyard and drove away. I cried all the way to work that morning—and have cried every day since.

But I couldn’t have found a more perfect family. I know he’s loved and take care of. They walk him for miles every day, dote on him, play with him. He’s even acclimated to their chickens. And the new owners created an Instagram account, where they post photos and videos of Indy regularly. So I still get to “see” him whenever I want.

But I miss him so much. I still think he’s going to greet me at the door. I wait for his happy barks and his pawing at my legs. Sunny, my other dog who has been with Indy from the day I brought him home, still comes to the front door every morning to see if Indy is back. And Landon often asks about him. (He think he’s helping the couple exercise. That’s what I told him, anyway.)

Tonight, in fact, Landon asked me about Indy. “I’m never going to see him again,” he said. I just teared up. I hope that’s not true, but I couldn’t promise him anything, either.

He’s safe, he’s happy and he’s well cared for. He’s in a home that’s full of love and happiness. I love him enough to know that this is the best I could do for him, that his happiness is far more important than my own. But it still hurts every time I think about it.

I know I did the right thing—for my family, for Indy—and I know he’s in the right home for him. I hope that someday I’ll come to peace with my decision, that I’ll stop crying and feel OK about it.

Maybe in 2021.

#ratterpackdogshapadogspets
Tweet
6
I Did Noom For a Month and Here’s What Happened
Was 2020 Really That Bad?

About the Author

Catherine Toth Fox

You Might Also Like

  • Anyone Else Feeling Like You’re Failing at This?

  • It’s Hard To Say Goodbye—So I Won’t

  • Was 2020 Really That Bad?

  • I Did Noom For a Month and Here’s What Happened

6 Comments

  • Reply Ryan December 10, 2020 at 6:48 am

    Oh, this breaks my heart. I had a similar situation with having to rehome a dog, but not one that we had a deep connection to like you did with Indy.

    I feel for you, definitely a situation where I wish there was a way to have a conversation with your pet and you know they understand… so tough. It was the right decision if you ask me, to protect your son.

    I am happy that you found a great home for him now though. I hope you have updates on him still and that maybe Landon can visit and hang with him.

    Gonna go wipe the sweat from my eyes now…

  • Reply Heidi Bornhorst December 10, 2020 at 9:33 am

    so sorry and yes the right thing for everyone, but still……

  • Reply Leisha Greenleaf December 10, 2020 at 1:42 pm

    Oh my heart is feeling for you . Hard decision . Sounds though he has a perfect new home where he will be doted on . Xxx

  • Reply Chris Collins December 10, 2020 at 8:07 pm

    The simple answer is 2020 sucks. One things that clearly shines through is how much you love Indy, which will never go away, nor his love for you. The pain in missing him will dissipate in fits and starts. Regardless of how much you fight it, at some point the love and happiness will be what’s left.

  • Reply Steve Dulce December 10, 2020 at 10:14 pm

    I’m so sorry, Cat….. I was stunned reading your story never thinking that the Handsome Man had another side that we could never see. Find peace and comfort knowing you did the right thing to protect your family. My prayers are with the both of you as I so miss seeing him in your posts….

  • Reply May Goya February 1, 2021 at 2:36 pm

    I want to cry! But they say dogs live in the moment so he’s probably happy. But I know he won’t forget his first mom????????????

Leave a Reply Cancel Reply

About Me

About Me
Born and raised on O‘ahu, Hawaiʻi, Catherine Toth Fox has been chronicling her adventures in her blog, The Cat Dish, for more than a decade. She worked as a newspaper reporter in Hawai‘i for 10 years and continues to freelance—in between teaching journalism, hitting the surf and eating everything in sight—for national and local print and online publications. She’s currently the editor of HAWAIʻI Magazine.

Latest Posts

  • Anyone Else Feeling Like You’re Failing at This?

    March 8, 2022
  • It’s Hard To Say Goodbye—So I Won’t

    January 29, 2021
  • Was 2020 Really That Bad?

    December 31, 2020
  • Here’s What Happened To My Dog Indy

    December 10, 2020
  • I Did Noom For a Month and Here’s What Happened

    October 7, 2020
Follow me on Forbes Travel Guide

Visit Travel Blog Exchange

Made with in Seattle

© 2013 Solo Pine Designs, Inc. All rights reserved.