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Three months in and I’m still learning

By Catherine Toth Fox • February 27, 2017 • #BabyFox

The advice I heard the most is this: “Enjoy every moment. It goes by fast.”

Funny. I want it to go by fast.

I can’t wait for this little guy to be big enough to go surfing with me, to hike with us and spot his first ‘apapane, to help me bake sugar cookies, to pick out his own books at the bookstore, to jump in my arms and hug me until I can’t breathe. (My husband would like him to change his own diaper; that would definitely be nice.)

Sure, I’ve enjoyed moments during these first three months. But they’re moments. He sleeps a lot — which, I’m not going to lie, is really nice — and, for the first few weeks, he wasn’t quite aware of what was happening around him. His world was very, very small, his sight limited to shapes and light.

Now, though, he looks at me, responds to my smile, reaches for his toys, listens as I read him books, even laughs when Indy licks his ears. It makes all the sleepless nights and zombie days so worthwhile.

Still. I want him to grow up.

It’s interesting, though, how much has changed in such a short amount of time. Every week he’s different, he’s older, he learns something new. This week, for example, he found his thumb. Next week, who knows!

And we’ve changed, too, and we’re constantly learning something new. This week, I learned that preschools are expensive (like, $1,000 a month) and some are already filled in two years. (I was told I should have applied when I was pregnant. That’s insane.) I’ve also learned that not all children’s books are created equal; some are actually lame. And I’ve learned that babies — or, at least mine — love techno music. Just trust me on that.

But there’s a lot I still need to learn — or accept.

I’m still struggling with this new lifestyle. I can’t just hit the surf in the morning or meet up with friends — not without securing childcare in advance or packing a diaper bag full of emergency items including a change of clothes for me. (Yes, poop happens.) I’m watching friends on Facebook travel to exotic places or writing books or saving monk seals. Not me. I’m wiping butts (at least a cute one) and wondering when the last time it was that I shaved my legs. Or where my razor is.

But it’ll come. The adjustment, the change, the acceptance that life will forever be different. Better.

Maybe I’ll learn that next month.

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Catherine Toth Fox

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4 Comments

  • Reply Julie Johnston-Ahlen February 27, 2017 at 1:31 pm

    I don’t think everyone wishes their kids were kids forever. I have asked Chris if he is sad that his kids are growing up and he always answer “no”. “Do you ever miss them being 4 and cute and sweet again.” “No.” Maybe it’s a mom thing.

  • Reply M February 28, 2017 at 9:08 am

    Hello Cat,
    Both of my kids are adults and have their own life. My daughter lives here but on her own and my son lives in San Diego. Miss them being around the house sometimes and doing things together.

  • Reply mows March 6, 2017 at 9:37 am

    My oldest son’s (7) first baby tooth fell out yesterday. I’m sad he is growing up so fast. I guess it’s because the more he grows the closer to old I get. In 10 years he will be 17 he is now closer to 10 than 3. Where did my cute little tiny baby go?

  • Reply Funlocity March 28, 2017 at 11:52 am

    We would go to Japan just for the food! Comment you on creating memories with your little one!

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About Me

About Me
Born and raised on O‘ahu, Hawaiʻi, Catherine Toth Fox has been chronicling her adventures in her blog, The Cat Dish, for more than a decade. She worked as a newspaper reporter in Hawai‘i for 10 years and continues to freelance—in between teaching journalism, hitting the surf and eating everything in sight—for national and local print and online publications. She’s currently the editor of HAWAIʻI Magazine.

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