It’s not the kind of news anyone likes to get.
Last year my older sister told us she was diagnosed with breast cancer. Stage II. Serious but beatable.
Still, it wasn’t something I wanted to hear.
My older sister and I are eight years apart. We didn’t have much in common, with that kind of age difference, save for an interest in rocks and fish. In fact, I was still in elementary school when she moved out, then left for California. I never really got to know her.
We had been in minimal — if not seasonal — contact over the years, sending birthday cards and Christmas gifts. That didn’t last too long. We sent e-mail every now and again. Then that stopped, too.
We weren’t conventional sisters, not the kind you read about in teen books or see on TV sitcoms. But we still loved each other, albeit from a distance.
I haven’t seen my sister much since she moved away almost 30 years ago. In fact, in the last 20 years, I may have only seen her once, a family trip to Vegas. (She hates flying, I’m not a fan of Ventura.)
But all that changed with the cancer diagnosis.
After she went underwent surgery to remove the cancerous cells in her right breast, my mom and I flew up to Los Angeles to see her. She was in great spirits, considering, happier to see us than think about the next phase of her treatment.
It’s taken her several months to schedule her first round of chemotherapy, which started today, but she did it and she’s on her way to recovery.
It’s easy to stay positive when you see the statistics: the 5-year survival rate of those diagnosed with Stage II breast cancer hovers around 93 percent.
But it’s still scary to think of it: my sister has cancer.
Then I remembered: we’re Toths. We’re tough. We can do this.
But it doesn’t hurt to get help, too.
I posted on Facebook today that I was sending positive vibes in her direction, and I was floored by the love and sharing that started to happen on my page.
So I’m hoping this post will help my sister, who needs that same kind of love and support right about now.
You got a story, advice, some words of encouragement? Post ’em here.
21 Comments
My thoughts and prayers are with your sister and your family.
One of my profile pics on FB says, “Cancer, you messed with the wrong b*tch”. I have survived two breast cancers (one in 1988 and one in 2008) AND uterine cancer. Please tell your sis SHE’S GOT THIS! She has got the support system she needs to beat cancer’s ass! Sending positive and healing vibes her way! Also lifting up your family in prayer.
Cat, My best to your sister and your family. What is her name? You did not write much about her in your Los Angeles Blog. What is her name? Blood is thicker than water. It is good that you feel that strongly about your sister
I don’t remember if I ever met your sister, but yes, you are correct, you toths are a strong bunch. Cancer is a scary thing. A coworker passed away several years ago from cancer. He was a great man. He treated our special needs students with respect and dignity. Then another coworker was diagnosed with breast cancer, she went through the treatments and is a survivor. This year a coworker’s wife found out she had cancer and she was pregnant! Baby came out healthy and she’s up for surgery. One of my student’s parents also survived their cancer.
Hi Cat, I went to high school with your sister. She still looks the same! She was a tough girl back then and I know she will be a fighter. Sending prayers her way.
C, My wife was diagnosed with breast cancer, stage I last November. Had two surgeries, and was treated for six weeks with radiation therapy. So far so good!! Your sister can do it!!! Cheers to you, sis, and mom!!! Alohas!!
Hi Cat… Hope all goes well…. 93% is great odds!! Thoughts and prayers…
Chris,
My prayers are with you, the women in our family are strong. When I am having problems The Lord is always there for me. He has helped me through some very tough times, believe In him.
Positive thoughts & energy to you & your family.
Sending positive vibes!! My dad beat cancer in 2000. It was hard to deal with at the time being so young but it put great perspective in his life. He was a workaholic before and now he travels the world and doesn’t take life for granted. He goes to Bali twice a year to surf! I know your sister will beat it and it will change her life for the better! Also kangen water is great! It is alkaline water. My family drinks it and we swear by it. I’m don’t sell the water so it is not a sales gimmick. Just some advice 🙂
Hello Cat,
Prayers are going out to your sister.
Hi Cat! My prayers to you and your sister! 93% are great odds! Keep and think positive!
First off, good thoughts for your sister. You’re right, she’s a Toth.
Second, your story of your relationship sounds like mine with my sisters and my parents. Only I was the elder one who traveled away, further and further over the years.
All the way to Hawai’i, in fact, before starting then to retrace the steps back.
The family’s still there. Evolved, different, but there.
CAT: Besides being old, fat, and poor, I have been living with a form of cancer for the past 13 Years. My doctor has been very up front and telling me that I will undergo treatment for the rest of my life in order to keep it in check. I am happy every day to be alive. I thank my lucky stars for my supportive family and friends. All the best to your sister in her battle.
Hey! Cat, Sending positive vibes your way and your family. There’s nothing more than prayer’s and positiveness that helps the heart and mind.
I have to say you have been one of the very few that I look forward to everyday, with just sharing the “Hapa Dogs” really just makes my day. I thank you for that =)
Ua Ola Loko I Ke’ Aloha = Love Gives Life Within
Sounds like your sis has a great support system! When I was going through treatment for non-Hodgkins lymphoma, I went to a naturopath for info on diet and supplements, did acupuncture, meditation, qi gong, yoga. In addition to physically supporting my body, trying a variety of treatments helped me to feel in control and strong. I’m convinced that it helped me beat cancer. My best to your sis and your whole family.
Hey Cat: … add some positive vibes from me too!!! … yes, the power of faith does heal …
… a big wave of warmth and energy must have reached your sister already …
Cat-
wow 2013 just wasn’t a great year at all…I hope you will help pull your sister through this all! wishing you both the best in this coming year. Stay strong and positive.
With aloha to your sister and your ‘ohana! Please share just one more positive vibe being sent her way while she undergoes chemotherapy. You asked for a story, advice, or words of encouragement- mine would be simply for her to take care. Encourage your sister to do the things she needs to do to feel better; to take care of herself/ be gentle with herself/ put her needs first during this time.
Maybe a pedicure; maybe reach out to a friend for going to a movie; maybe meditate; maybe participate in a support grp so she’s around people who know exactly what she’s going through; maybe read a book of a cancer survivor.
I have had friends with cancer- who are SURVIVORS (yeah!) and each one said they, in one form or another, participated in forms of mind exercises where they would sit quietly and think of the chemotherapy medicine attacking the cancer cells and blowing them up to smithereens! I like that visual picture!
Know that your sister and your family are in my prayers. I hope she will allow you to post updates as your readers are rooting for her!
Hi Cat,
I’ve been a reader of your blog for the past year and I felt compelled to leaving a msg after reading this post. I was diagnosed with breast cancer 1.5 years ago, at 30 years old. I underwent 4 surgeries and 5 months of chemo. It may seem like a long road ahead for your sister, especially just starting chemo, but the time will pass, and like all things, it will get better. Please let your sister know she can email me as I have some great recommendations for getting through chemo. Acupuncture was amazing (scheduled within 24 hours after chemo session), soaking fingers in ice water during infusion will help with neuropathy and help to save her nails from falling off. L-Glutamine also helps with neuropath (have her google it). She also will get very, umm, “blocked up” after each session if you know what i mean so best to prepare in advance 🙂
Hi Cat,
I don’t have much knowledge or experience in the area of cancer. I feel like illness is often a reminder to show kindness to ourselves. Sending much love. light, aloha, healing vibes, hugs, prayers and whatever else it takes to show cancer who’s boss!!