When I was a kid, my mom used to tell me that if I ate bread crusts, my boobs would grow.
And since I was terrified of oversized breasts — hey, I played sports and didn’t need built-in inflatables getting in the way — I purposely ate everything but the boob-enhancing crusts.
To this day, I still don’t eat them (though if what my mom said was true, I would definitely reconsider).
It was a topic yesterday on Twitter, with a few of us — namely, Melissa Chang and Ed Sugimoto — openly professing our preference for crustless products.
We were up against a lot of crust lovers who touted their texture and practical function of keeping things together. But I wasn’t buying it.
Crusts are just that — crusty. They’re hard and cumbersome and, to some sensitive mouths, a bit dangerous.
Which is why I was in full support of some bread companies unveiling crustless versions, such as Sara Lee’s IronKids Crustless Bread and Hovis Invisible Crust. Both products were launched amid complaints that mothers — close to 40 percent — were cutting off bread crusts for their kids.
But to be fair to the crust lovers, there has been research showing the health benefits of crust, namely a 2002 German study that found the baking process produces a type of cancer-fighting antioxidant in bread that’s eight times more abundant in the crust than in the crumb, according to a story on CNN.
Still, health reasons just don’t cut it for me. Otherwise I’d be using margarine instead of butter and artificial sweeteners instead of sugar.
Anyone else agree?
I always liked my bread with crusts, but to this day will not eat either of the end-pieces of a loaf of plain bread (from a grocery store in plastic). A nice French, Italian, or Greek bread, I will eat the whole loaf. As much as I am tempted to comment on the growth-inducing properties of bread crust, I am forcing myself to smile and remain silent – fingertips off the keys.
Bread crusts make boobs grow? Do you think my next girlfriend would start to get suspicious if we kept eating stuffing with every meal?
BTW: Did you know Smuckers has a patent for crust less peanut butter and jelly sandwiches? What has Smuckers have against big boobs 🙂
I didn’t realize Smuckers had the patent on crustless PB&J. Well, it’s genius. I love Crustables. 🙂
I generally eat the crusts – especially on the artisan and baguettes. However, in recent years, I’ve been cutting off the crusts on the Japanese style breads because it’s too thick and fills me up unnecessarily (like too much filling). My niece leaves the crusts or wants them cut off though…
I think it is too tough to cut the crust off a sub sandwich or french bread Bale sandwich. My Mom told me to eat everything because some kid in wherever was starving and we shouldn’t waste fuud.
OK, Bale sandwiches are brutal! I cut up my mouth ALL THE TIME on those things!
I never liked the crusts! That’s the dryest, hardest part of the bread! Same for pizza crust, pie crust, etc. Even when I was in my 30s, I remember my mom making me a sandwich and cutting off the crust. The only time I have to eat crust is when I eat a Ba-le sandwich, as Dave says.
Actually, Ed Sugimoto loves his crust, as does Russ Sumida. The two of them scold me for wasting “the best part,” but we know they’re wrong!!!!
The best part?!?!? We need to stage an intervention, STAT!
Hello Cat, I would like to know what your mom said is true. Could you start eating the crust? 🙂
LOL! I wish it were true! But if it is, that would explain a lot!
It depends on the bread for me. Like if I have something using French bread, then I want the crust. But for most sandwiches, they don’t really add to the flavor, and I find that if I haven’t cut them off outright, I eat around them.
(I should point out that honestly, as far as health reasons go… your two examples aren’t all that healthy. They’re finding out that margarine is much worse for you than butter, and that some artificial sweeteners are just as bad, if not worse, than sugar. So you’re probably better off sticking with butter & sugar. Since well, they taste better, too.)
So THAT’S why I have “man boobs”.. I’m canceling my gym membership. No more bench presses for me!
LOL! Stop eating crust!
When I was young, I would eat everything and anything. Now that I’m older, all that unhealthy fuuds is catching up with my body. No sugars, no fat, no oils, low carbs, low salt, no red meat, brown rice, lots of veggies and fruits and whole wheat.
Wow M, I admire your discipline to healthy eating. I should eat better but I don’t. I know it’ll catch up to me one day but hard to stop the bad habits I picked up all my life. Props to you brah!
No sugars, fats, oils, red meat??? How do you do it???
It’s not easy and once in awhile I’ll go off the diet and treat myself to a guud meal.
I was wondering what you guys were all a-twitter about.
for good bread, the crust is what makes it. for supermarket loaves, it doesn’t matter (although some of them are so soft and formless it helps keep the structural integrity, from an engineering standpoint).
“From an engineering standpoint” — I love that!
That’s certainly true for pies, but not for sandwiches!
actually, I was told that crust makes your hair curly. and it’s true! i love crust…and i have crazy curly hair.
Hah! I’ll tell my mom that one! But we all had curly hair already, so that’s probably why she didn’t use it!
The way I see it – why waste an essential part of the bread?
And I mean, heck, have you ever tried spreading peanut butter on crustless bread? Almost impossible! That’s why you gotta cut off the crusts after you spread the peanut butter first. Doh!!!
C’mon give bread crusts credit where it’s due!!! Crusts!!! Crusts!!! Crust!!
I’m going to stay firm on my no-crust policy. 🙂
…and you call yourself (or we call you) a foodie? LOL!
What’s crust, a fancied bite on others’ plate,
a thing we enjoy even with our weight,
A sandwich, some toast, perhaps even grilled cheese,
That wonderful crust’s the noble part to please.
crusts are. . . dangerous??? XD
hey, i love a little danger now and then. pop rocks and soda? bring it on!!!
but i think i’ll pass on the crust.
Pop rocks and soda — we are SO related! 🙂
You must like those Japanese sandwiches, the ones without the crust and sealed all around . I usually like the crust, but I LOVE those sandwiches. My favorite was the maple and margarine.
Maple and margarine? OK, that’s a pairing I’ve never tried!
dunno about margarine, but maple and butter are pretty essential to a good pancake (or waffle or french toast) breakfast.
I’m a crust guy… the GF is not a crust gal… Whenever we eat pizza, I finish all of her left-over crusts! (haha)
I remember a story I heard a long time ago about communication.
A man and wife woke up every night for middle of the night snacks for years and years. It was the same routine every time. He would open a new loaf of bread, and give her the heels (ends) of the loaf for her sandwich, while he’d use the regular slices. Finally, after 50 years of this, the wife finally spoke up, saying that after 50 years, it’s time that SHE got to have the good bread, and he’d have to eat the heels… then he says, “but the heels are the best part!”
So the lesson was if they would have communicated better, they’d both have the part of the loaf they liked!
Love the story! Thanks for sharing!
I swear I’m gonna make you and Melissa eat my mom’s awesome treat that consists of nothing but crust (with butter and sugar)…. You two will forever be turned! If not, at least your boobs will be enhanced right mama Toth? 😉
OK, you’re on. When’s the crust tweetup?