The other day I was chatting with a colleague and he mentioned his 20th class reunion was coming up.
“You going?”
He frowned. “Nah,” he said. “I see everyone I want to see from high school. What’s the point?”
Exactly what I was thinking.
Shockingly — at least to me — my 20th class reunion is fast approaching, too, and I’m already getting Facebook notifications about it.
I have nothing against get-togethers of old friends and classmates. But a formal, organized reunion where I’d have to wear a name tag and dredge memories of trigonometry class and run into ex-boyfriends? I can think of other things to do that night.
It’s not that I don’t want to see my classmates. In fact, I enjoy running into familiar faces at the mall, grocery store and, most recently, at Rainbow Drive-In. I like catching up, hearing about their kids, what they’ve been up to, who they wound up marrying. But I’m not sure about an entire evening devoted to doing that with, oh, 125 people, many of whom won’t remember me, anyway.
I used to think high school reunions would be fun, a chance to reconnect with old friends and — isn’t this why we all go? — to see how everyone turned out. Did the prom queen get fat? Does the quarterback still have hair? And will my ex show up — and try to talk to me?
You envision — or hope — it will be a lot like “Romy & Michele’s High School Reunion,” where the two friends pretend they invented Post-Its, perform an elaborate dance number stick it to the popular girls and run away with the rich guy in a helicopter. It’s not a bad scenario.
Why do people go to class reunions, anyway? People — like my colleague — always say if those people really mattered that much, they would have kept in touch all these years. Is it the nostalgia? Is it to reconnect with old friends who don’t have Facebook accounts or email?
Anyone?
43 Comments
My 30th is coming up in a couple of years… YIKES!!! Where did the time go?
Over the years being so far away, I’ve often gotten nostalgic for the old days and looked forward to meeting up with everyone again. I went once to a 7.5 year reunion (no, not a typo). The only problem was that everyone fell back into their old cliques, so it was like, “What’s the point?”
Recently my high-school had an ’80s decade reunion (small school so we’ve always lumped several classes together for reunions). I didn’t go, but was “shocked” at the pictures that were posted later on Facebook. I don’t know how many times I would have been able to say, “Oh, you look great; you haven’t changed a bit,” with a straight face while thinking the opposite. I know, that’s sooooo bad.
But since I’ve reconnected with a lot of them on Facebook, I’m reminded why I moved 5000 miles away… and stayed away! (haha) Let’s just say I’m not cut from the “small-town, farm-boy cloth!” I would have spent the whole evening biting my tongue to avoid getting into “debates,” if you know what I mean.
Oh, and Rommie and Michelle… and ALL-TIME classic movie! Lisa and Mira nailed their roles!
30th??? Hmm. I won’t say it. 🙂
Good… I won’t say it either! :^D
eat ,drink and be merry….sounds like a win win to me.
It depends on if there’s eating, drinking and merriment — and how much it will cost! LOL
I had the same attitude for years and finally caved in and went to my 35th… hate to say it but I really am that old… and it was the best time I could imagine. Since then at least 100 of the people I went to high school with are on my Facebook account. Sadly, a lot of the people from back then had passed away, some within a year of finishing high school. One in particular died the week before the reunion. It was terribly sad, and it was someone I had hoped to reconnect with. Everyone was remarkably the same but in most ways really different. People who were the life of the party in high school were shy and vice versa. Frankly I danced with every woman there just like high school and it was a blast. My favorite moment came when a girl that I really liked in high school confessed she had a terrible shyness problem and it was the reason she turned me down for the school prom. Me, played golf the morning of then went to the beach. Turned out she was treated for it for all of her life, still is on meds for it, and she wanted to apologize for not letting me know what was up. And yes I was heartbroken and didn’t understand. We seemed to get along great. It was a surreal moment and frankly one that touched me in ways I had not expected. And really the whole night was that way. People I thought had their act together in high school were confessing how lonely and afraid they were, the stuff they went through I never knew about, the people who had some amazing things happen to them. The one I did not like hearing about was a girl I was best friends with in high school suffered through having a boyfriend that hit her etc. It was all I could do not to go find the guy and break his neck. But the one guy that I sparred with over everything in high school and I had the best time talking about our crazy lives and adventures. Turned out he was no where near the AH I thought he was LOL… actually just the opposite. He thought I didn’t like him so he made my life miserable whenever he could. It was one of my favorite nights of the last year or so. If we have a 40th I will go. I just hope the people I ran into at the last one are still here, heck I hope I am still here! In the end it was obvious that back then I was not as smart as I thought I was, and frankly I am sure I am not as smart as I think I am now. But one thing is for sure next time I will get the award for coming from the furthest away because I will be coming from Kailua Beach, HI. Yep, in less than three years this kama’aina is coming home.
What a great story! Thanks for sharing!
I guess there’s a lot I could learn from going to my reunion. Do you regret not going to earlier ones?
HELL YES!!!
High school reunions…if I didn’t see a reason to go to mine when I still lived in the Islands, I see even less reason now. I never really cared for high school or any other school for that matter, except for college.
The few people from school (high school and before) that I thought of as friends, real true friends, are still friends with me now. The rest, well………You’d think with Facebook the situation would be different; however, it is not. A mutual friend suggested a list of people from high school as Facebook friends. The problem was, instead of actually connecting with these people after all these years, all I got was messages asking me to join them in Mafia Wars, or messages asking me to send them something they needed on their farm in Farmville. Being new to Facebook at that time, I didn’t know or realize that there was a way to shut off these stupid messages, so I simply deleted the folks sending them. So much for an online reunion. 😆
LOL. High school reunion via Farmville. Love it!
Ah, nostalgia’s not what it used to be.
I went to a 20th reunion of 8th Grade graduation, that was 16 years ago. It was a very small school; many people stayed local; and about 2/3 showed up. It was slightly fun, but I have not been to any other reunion since then, and I doubt I will ever go to another. It just doesn’t seem like it would be fun in any way.
At age 50, of course I haven’t changed a bit, but everyone else has.
Hey, that’s interesting! I went to a small school from first through eighth grade. I haven’t seen most of my 24 classmates since 1989!
not to sound like a broken record (and I am from a graduating class that knows, firsthand, what a “broken record” is), but I already keep in touch with my friends and don’t see the ones I don’t care about anyway. I’ve been to one (15th, I think) because I happened to be home at the time and a good friend of mine was on the committee, so I got kinda roped into going. played in the golf event beforehand, but my foursome (actually, my threesome) was me and a couple of friends that I hang around with anyway (and play golf with), so it was like any other round of golf for us except that the foursome ahead and the foresome behind happened to be people we knew. the event itself was kind of like eating at a very busy cafeteria. at Durmstraang, the “reunion” is a luau open to all alumni, but the numbered classes usually have bigger turnout and (probably…I forget the details) a designated seating area (maybe all classes have a general area to sit in? Idk). I ended up sitting with (wait for it) my friends that I usually hang out with when I visit home.
one thing about Durmstraang, though (and, I imagine Hogwarts as well, DiO): connections. I may not want to hang out with you (or particularly like you, fwiw), but I may need your business/seed money/legal expertise/influence someday, so going to the reunion gave me a chance to smile at people, say hi and remind them that I still exist.
matt: Yeah, Hogwarts, and I assume others, are the same….connections/networking. It’s like that on FB…you see messages from people: “Please support….” or “Does anyone know of (or have expertise in…)…..”
Aloha!
I can get kinda shameless sometimes (not on fb…that’s for games and screwing around). when I meet an old classmate who is an attorney, one of my first questions is “what kind of law do you practice” if the answer’s “environmental” or “worker’s comp” or something similar, the next question is “do you use expert witnesses/consultants?” if it’s any other practice, I give them the Aunt Vivian smile (from Fresh Prince of Bel Air) and say “that’s niiice” and move on.
Cat,
Went to my 20th reunion only because I happened to be on Oahu & to an extent because my Dad had died a month before, so at the transition of life it was time to reassess.
The reunion itself was nice, sad to hear about classmates passing all at the same time. There were a few expected observations, cliques reformed, not as many classmates “floated” to network and I was amazed & dismayed at how the class of ’76 had turned out.
The oddest thing I noticed, since my h.s. friends for the most part had moved to the mainland, I started to hangout with my Elementary school friends. In the photo, it was as if I was the token Japanese guy from the ‘Nalo group!
btw, last reunion I will attend. it was okay, but life does go on Nee
I could see going to a reunion if I had moved away. Or to see folks who have moved away. But, like many others mentioned here, social media has really helped us all stay connected. It’s like a reunion every time I open up my Facebook!
In as much as we have a group that goes to these reunions (we have one every five years), I’ve only been to one. I’m usually out of town or on a job the night they have the reunion.
However, our high school social club started getting together for quarterly dinners several years ago. First it was our club then our sister club started showing up and now anyone from our class is invited to come. We usually have a couple of tables at the local Chinese restaurant and talk story with each other for 2-3 hours. We’ve lost a few since we started this but at least we were able to connect with them before they left us.
Social club? I think you’ve dated yourself! (wink)
I don’t agree with not going because you already see everyone important to you. Who we were at 18 is, hopefully, different from who we are now many years later. You’d be surprised who you “connect” with, who intrigues you, and who makes you laugh the most now. And the best part is that the hard lines drawn by high school cliques are largely gone; you can actually mingle and be friends with everyone. It can be fun and worthwhile just for the heck of socializing with a different crowd, even if just for one night.
I wasn’t crazy about going to mine, but from the 10 year reunion on, I’ve had a great time. I only wish I’d been more open-minded and friendly back in high school; there were so many great people I missed out on knowing. And even if you don’t keep in touch after the reunion, it’s still worth it for the memories (good and bad) and for a night of random adventure. So why not?
You make a good point. I’m assuming most people are just as they were in high school — and if we were friends then, we still are now. But people move on, change, get better haircuts. I’m CURIOUS, for sure.
Great post, my feelings exactly. I feel extremely fortunate to still hang out with my friends from high school. In fact, in my circle of friends, we go all the way back to preschool. I’m not sure if its Hawaii’s small geography that makes this possible but I find it awesome.
I didn’t go to my 10 year and my 20th reunion was last year which I also didn’t attend. I guess for me I don’t want to go to an event and compare my path with those of others. If I did go I’m sure the first question I’d be asked is, “so what you do now?”. I’d happily answer “oh I’m unemployed”. I don’t like it that we define other people by their jobs. Why not ask me what book I recently read, or what’s my kids want to be when they grow up? Infinitely more interesting but that’ll never happen. So instead I’d take joy in seeing how people stumble for words after asking me what I do =)
I’m not interested in knowing who got fat, who got skinny, who “made it” and who didn’t. Not really curious to know and if not for that, what else would I be going for?
No lie. You really are. 🙂
Funny you should ask, I leave tommorow for my 25th Baldwin High School reunion in Vegas.
The reality is I don’t get to see everyone I want to from my high school. As the years have gone by, we are spread out over Hawaii, Connecticut, Washington & Chicago, just to name a few. Several of my high school friends are still in my top five today of women I lean on and support. Although we are in touch daily via the web, we don’t get to see each other much in person. This is my opportunity to give them a real live hug in person, sans the significant others and kiddies, for the most part. We can just be the girls again, for one weekend. Although I’ve made other friends after high school, there is something so reassuring about someone who’s known you from small kid time, is aware of all your flaws and stupid stuff you did, but still loves you to death anyway.
The ten year reunion felt a bit more show offy and competitive. By the 20th, no one cared what anyone did for a living, we’d all been thru the ringer of adult life and were just happy to reminisce and spend time with each other. Now, with the 25th, I feel a comraderie, we just want to take a weekend off and have a good time.
Yeah, there are some people who didn’t get who I was then and won’t get me now but so what? I get spend a weekend with some dear friends, that’s all that matters. People do surprise you too, the person you barely knew back then sometimes can have so much in common with you twenty + years later.
That’s interesting because I’ve heard that, too, about reunions, that there’s a difference between the years. I didn’t go to our 10th — did we have one? — because, weirdly enough, it felt too soon. I mean, some of my friends were still in college!
I went to my 10 year and 20 year. I think that’s it. I really don’t keep in touch with any of my HS friends and I don’t see a need to now.
My mom, on the other hand, goes to hers every so often in ‘Vegas. Waipahu grad way back in 1948. Instead of just her year they combine several years together. I guess the ’48 graduating class is starting to dwindle. Kind of sad….
I think it’s just an excuse to go to Vegas! LOL!
But I wonder if I’ll feel differently as I get older…
Cat, do you really see everyone you want to from high school?
A lot of my classmates live on the mainland, or on different islands, so I seem them rarely if ever. I’ve enjoyed all the reunions I’ve attended. Just seeing the friends I keep in touch with was fun.
My main problem with reunions is that too many of the classmates I want to see share your attitude, and don’t attend.
No, I don’t, you’re right. But I keep in touch with a lot of people I hung out with in high school. The thing is, I make friends as I go. And I don’t pine for my years in high school. It was fun while it lasted, but I moved on. (I actually had more fun in college.) But I might change my mind. I still have time!
Cat, I don’t think I’m unlike you; I’ve also grown apart from most of my HS friends. I no longer have enough in common with many of them to sustain an ongoing friendship; all we have in common now are memories and experiences.
But those shared memories and experiences are easily enough to fill one evening every ten years. I greatly enjoyed spending a few hours reliving some fun times.
Hey Cat: … I’m not sure what people’s motivation for attending class reunion’s are … it’s not something I’m particularly interested in doing … but I won’t knock something I haven’t done … it might be hella fun for all I know …
… but it does seem … like you’d be attending a party … of very few people that you really know … yeah, you’ll have a few close friends probably … but the vast majority would be maybe familiar faces, but you probably don’t know so much …
… and I can imagine it being a little awkward at first … until you get to know how they are in present day … not what you kinda remember of them from back in high school …
… and just maybe … you’ll enhance those casual friendships … or even make new friends of people you thought you already knew …
… I don’t know … I’d still be too hesistant to try … shame on me?!! …
So you’ve never gone to your reunion, either?
Hello Cat, my 40th is coming up next month I think, maybe they already had it, that’s how much I keep track and I never been to one and don’t plan on going to any. I already keep in touch with the ones I hung out with in HS and 5 classmates is employed with the company I work with.
Wow, 40th. I think I might change my mind as I get older. But we’ll see.
Hilarious that you bring this up, my 10 year is coming up. Actually my 10 year is the weekend I will be in paradise! I never planned on going, because the people I talk to now where actually my friends in high school. Plus not wanting to see the jerkoff ex husband with his new toy wife. I loved and hated high school dearly, but to tell you the truth if they could all see me now, and see what I have been up to they would drop their jaws to the floor. Oh well love this page Cat, keeps me occupied at work most days!!
Thanks,
Tarah
Glad I keep you occupied! Though don’t tell you boss. I might get blocked!
I’m with you. Though I didn’t HATE high school, I was eager to get out. I actually enjoyed college way more. So I’m still on the fence…
I should just go and blog about it! LOL
Lol oh the boss will never know my secrets! Although I say I hated high school I did love some parts of it. I guess because I was always the geek, but the popular people liked being my friend so I had nerds hating me and popular kids hating me because of my mixing of groups! Lol such high drama right there, so I am staying clear of high school forever now! I like college way more too, but have fun in Vegas. I still have never been. I chose Hawaii before Vegas so I will be there in October!
Tarah
Went to my 25th reunion, it was a decent turnout for an all male school. Good to see who survived, where everyone was located, this was years before Facebook. Haven’t been to any since, as the school began doing a thing with several classes, not really interested in those 5,10 years behind. Went to one other gathering at the 50th anniversary of the founding of my elementary school. That now was a bit more interesting even tho there was only 8 from my class, but more from the older classes and those immediately behind. It was kind of funy looking at the classrooms that are set up now for 20 students and trying to figure out how we fit 50 t0 65 in a classroom (post wwII baby-boom).Initials were still there in the cloakrrom.
That’s cool that you toured the school. I think that would actually be interesting — and with the old teachers, too. But going to a dinner at some hotel ballroom — not appealing.
McKinley was a big school and in the 40 months worth of school days we had, I was not able to meet or get to know everybody. I’m still meeting new and interesting people at my reunions because I am no longer concerned with staying within my own cliques.
It also gives me an excuse to go holo holo which us parents don’t get a lot of.
Reading all these messages is making me a little nervous. This Saturday is our 36th class reunion. I wasn’t popular—just a wall flower. But a lot of classmates knew who I was because I lived in the same area since kindergarten. I went to our 20th & it was OK but I had my anchor there that time (my husband). This time, he will be on a business trip so I’ll be going with my 1 friend that I kept in touch. I hope I don’t win the “most weight gained.” Already know who will win “most successful”—classmate just became a judge.