You’ve seen ’em, danging from the back bumpers of trucks, an obnoxious oversized pair of plastic testicles.
Testicles. On the back bumper of a Toyota Tacoma next to a sticker that reads, “I love my wife,” just to re-emphasize the heterosexuality of the driver.
I honestly don’t get the whole need-to-express-my-manhood purpose of these danging plastic cojones. What does having plastic testicles on your truck prove? That your truck has balls?
Apparently, I’m not the only one who thinks these truck accessories are ridiculous, if not downright offensive.
In 2008 Florida senate lawmakers banned fake bull testicles that dangle from the trailer hitches of trucks and cars, calling these novelty items — with names like Trucker Nutz or Bumper Balls — offensive.
And last year the mayor of a Long Island village suspended its fire chief for 30 days because he refused to remove a pair of plastic testicles from a fire truck, according to the New York Post. Folks complained, calling the crude set offensive, insensitive and unprofessional.
But wait — it gets better.
Some guys are so fixated on their genitals they refuse to get their dogs neutered. So a Kansas City, Mo. company made a name for itself selling testicular implants for male pets. Yes, implants.
More than 425,000 pet owners have bought into Neuticals, the plastic replacement parts for male dogs. And they come in a variety of sizes for a variety of pets, from gerbils to Clydesdales. The cost can range up to $1,200 for a pair.
Does anyone have the balls to explain this to me?
I don’t like them either.
But they are a form of personal expression.
So, when I see them while I’m driving, I choose to close my eyes.
I hope you’re not driving with your eyes closed! LOL
Perhaps they’re too poor to buy exotic super cars to compensate for their lack of manhood.
What’s with that, too! I’ve heard that guys treat cars like ways to overcompensate… I don’t women have this issue… Or at the very least, we don’t use cars to show off our insecurities!
louis v. bags?
Don’t like them period.
I was surprised to find out this wasn’t just a Hawaii thing, actually!
Nope, the things are everywhere. Thought about getting a pair of hedge clippers so I could neuter some trucks. Easily the tackiest thing I’ve ever seen.
Stoopid. That Fire Chief too. Getting suspended for a pair of balls.
At least he had the balls to put those balls on his truck!
Even rednecks need an outlet for their creative side.
Are you sure all the trucks with nutz belong to guys?
Ah, good point!
Want to emphasize your heterosexuality? Drive a minivan with a bunch of car seats inside. That’ll prove it to the world. 😆
Frankly, I am not sure what kind of message is being sent, nor what the intended message is. All I know is, if any of my friends had a pair of these on their vehicle, I’d razz them mercilessly.
“Oh, so is that what your wife did with them, after she ripped them off of you.”
“Look on the bright side, at least you won’t need a vasectomy.”
“No need for the pill now.”
“I hear they’re looking for a soprano in the choir.”
i saw a pair on a truck and above it was the license plate that read “OH DEAR”.
NO! Did you snap a pic? That’s hilarious!
Wowzers Cat, just WOWZERS… 2 posts into the new blog and already we’re talking about nads… and not the nads you use to wax your legs, but GONADS, like testicular talk… dang girl… Here’s my 2 cents on the tow nuts…
STOOOPID, but I would buy them for my friend as a gag gift, and I think that’s really the reason they were invented… You’d never see me driving around with balls hanging of the back of my corolla… but then again, maybe they need them to increase “horsepower” cuz you know… “these balls give me 15 extra horses under the hood…* LOL…
Gonads! That made me laugh! Thanks, Neil!
what a topic. kinda going for the…um…low hanging fruit, huh?
I’ve never seen these accessories, but there aren’t many rednecks in my area. what’s the call if a car has these hanging off the back and a bra on the front? confused?
Speaking of “low-hanging fruit,” did you see today’s blog?
“Does anyone have the balls to explain this to me?”
Thanks for getting the joke! 🙂