Not a day goes by that I don’t miss my first dog, Joey, a black-and-white papillon.
Every time I visit my parents, I expect to see his nose under the front gate or run toward me once I swing the garage door open.
But he’s not there. And it’s been eight years since he died.
I think about that a lot, now that I’m the proud owner of three pooches. Opae, Sunny and Indy are still young — 7, 6 and 5, respectively — but I know there will be a time when we have to say goodbye. And I really, really, really don’t want to.
How it is that these we bond so fiercely with these furry creatures? I’ve lost my grandparents, but I don’t expect my Grandma Ann to greet me at the door whenever I go home for Sunday dinner.
I try not to think about “that day,” though I worry every time we have to take one of the dogs to the vet with something — an upset stomach, lethargy, a strange lump — and I can’t imagine I’ll be able to deal with the loss of these dogs.
My dear girlfriend, a fellow dog lover, just lost her beloved chihuahua after 14.5 years. Sam was sick, though the vet said he was putting on a convincing act that he was OK. He wasn’t. And in just two short weeks, his health drastically declined and my friend had to make the tough decision to put him down.
Just thinking about it makes me well with tears.
The animal-human bond is incredibly strong. There have been studies done — including a 1988 study in the Journal of Mental Health Counseling — that show our connection is often closer than with other humans. Thirty-eight percent of people surveyed said their dogs were closer to them than their closest family member.
And grieving over the death of pets is comparable to that of losing a family member or close friend. Sometimes it’s far more intense.
So what do we do? We can’t stop life — meaning death — from happening. All we can do is love our pets, appreciate every moment we have with them, feed them well, exercise them often, hug and play with them as much as possible.
I know the day will come, and I’ll never be ready for it. But at least I know our three dogs lived a full life. I guess that’s all we can hope for.
11 Comments
CAT: I’ve had 2 dogs that had to be put down due to age and aliments. I do not think of them often but when I do, I remember them growing up, getting into trouble, getting lost, and being all round buddies that gave you unconditional love. Kids move on and do their thing. Dogs are forever with you.
Losing a pet is especially hard as we as their owners are often the ones who decide when their lives will end. All we can do is hope that we gave them as much joy as they have given us….
Oh Cat , I hear you . I have two beloved poodles and I can’t beat the thought of them passing. They mean as much to me as my family . Just to let you know also I have my subscription for The Honolulu magazine sent to me here in Queensland, Australia and I’m enjoying your articles .
Hi Cat. Three years ago I made the decision to let my beloved cat go. She was 17 years old and very ill. I think she stayed with me until I was as ready as I could be to let her go peacefully. That was the worst day of my life. I loved her so, so much. I still do. She was a gift from my mom when I was in fourth grade and we grew up together. She purred only for me, talked only to me, and followed me everywhere. I carried her in my arms like a baby or over my shoulder and my family always said they could just see the love between us. I wish she was still here. I miss her more than anything in the world. My grief was incredibly intense because I never loved anyone the way I loved her. It took a very long time for me to be able to think of her without crying or speak about her without a rush of memories leaving me unable to continue. But there will always be a piece of my heart missing.
I have two new cats now. Their personalities are so different from my first cat. Neither likes to be held or carried, and sometimes I really wish they did. These two prefer to hang out on their own. I love them, but it is not quite the same.
I was selfish. I realize that now. I’ve had dogs all my life. I loved them and I lost them to old age and illness. I made them suffer more than they deserved to because I couldn’t let them go when I should have. My current pet will have a good life and I will cherish each day with him, I’ll make sure of that. When his time comes, I promised myself I will not be selfish, I’ll do what’s best for him. Hopefully that’s a long way off.
Hello Cat,
My dog of over 16 years had to be put down because of a large tumor. That was the hardest decision our family ever had to make but our vet said that was the correct decision. She was very old and might have not survive the operation.
I had a chihuahua/ terrier mix named Beringer for 15 years, very loyal, loving, listened to all my happy and sad story’s, always with me, my best friend, my first dog I’ve owned by myself, He passed away April of last year. Like the day I got him as a puppy and held him in my arms, I’ve held him in my arms to the end. As I’m holding him I whispered into his ear how much I love, appreciated, how happy he’s made me all these years,, thanked him for all the happy memories and I’ll never forget him. Not a day goes by I don’t think of him and I miss him everyday. Once in awhile my son will talk about Beringer to me that’s how “special” he was to me and us. Now, he rests near my bed on the night stand in a wooden floral box with his collar and surrounded by his favorite toys. Forever in my heart Beringer remains.
My Pomchi is 14 yrs old and I know one day the inevitable will happen. He’s getting finnicky about eating. Sometimes he eats, sometimes he won’t. I stopped rushing him to the vet every time he wouldn’t eat- Vet says he’s just getting old???? dreading the day…
“We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It’s the best deal man has ever made.”
I wish people would love people as well as they love pets. Part of my wish is that people would support legislation that would allow doctors to help terminal patients who ask for help to die without pain and suffering, just as pet owners can ask vets to help pets die when their time has come. I believe such legislation will be active in the next session, and I hope pet owners who have made that difficult choice will support such legislation for humans to have the same choice.
Dogs do not live long enough. It’s really sad to see them get old and decrepit. Just put my Dino Greyhound down this past Christmas he was 14 years old, that’s 98 in human years. He was having a hard time getting up and walking around and losing control of his bowels and urine. So so so sad when they get aold especially if you had them from when they were a puppy. Miss you Dino my big lovable cuddly greyhound doggie.