ASK DR. DISH: Love those jerks

By • October 27, 2010 • Musings, The Daily Dish

Question: I am living proof that nice guys finish last. My girlfriend of six months dumped me and went back to her abusive ex-boyfriend, a guy that cheated on her and made her feel bad about herself all the time. Here I am, I never hurt her, cook dinner and clean the house, always nice to her, and she chooses this jerk. What is it with bad boys that girls seem to like? Why do girls always complain about “where are all the nice guys” and when they get one they dump him?

Answer: I can’t say that I disagree with you. There are women out there who love the bad boys — like Charlie Sheen who, after throwing furniture and yelling in his hotel room the other day, was hospitalized and still gets acting gigs and chicks — and I can’t explain it. Maybe it’s the idea that they can change him, that they can make this awful person a better one. It’s a bit self-absorbed, when you think about, that we have this power to change people. But I can see the appeal.

I had a pretty awful boyfriend once. And people always ask me, “Why did you stay with him for so long?” Part of it is because this awful person, on those rare occasions, would be nice to me — and it seemed so worth it. He made me feel like I was special. Of course, this was all crap and he was a jerk, period. We eventually broke up and I decided nice is underrated.

But the same argument can be made for us, too. We think a lot of guys dig shallow, bitchy, high-maintenance women. Guys will argue they don’t — “No, I really want a nice girl I can bring home to my mom” — but wind up with exactly the opposite.

Here’s how I look at it: If a woman wants a bad boy, let her have him. You’ll find some nice girl who’s looking for a nice guy — like you. Why would you want anything else?

***

To read all of Cat’s blogs, visit www.nonstophonolulu.com/thedailydish. Follow Cat on Twitter @thedailydish or send her an e-mail at [email protected].

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Ho, brah, I stay local now

By • October 25, 2010 • Musings, The Daily Dish

This Saturday I helped at a journalism workshop for high school students, where they had to participate in actual press conferences and write stories or blogs afterward.

One of the press conferences featured a University of Hawaii-Manoa film student who has a flick in this year’s Hawaii International Film Festival. He moved here six years ago and, as one of the student bloggers put it, already feels comfortable adopting certain aspects of the local culture. Such as flashing the shaka and dabbling in Pidgin.

She raises a great question: when can you move to a new place and adopt the local culture?

And, in relation to last night’s “Hawaii Five-O” on CBS, how is that local culture comfortably — and accurately — depicted?

Folks were lighting up Twitter with complaints about everything from bad use of Pidgin (or, correctly, Hawaiian Creole English) to inaccurate depictions of the Islands. (Like heading East on the West-only Ala Wai Boulevard or saying that most guys in Hawaii have hunting licenses.)

Why do we feel so strongly about the way our state — and, more importantly, our culture — is portrayed in media? Do New Yorkers or Texans feel the same way? Do folks who live in any city portrayed in those “Real Housewives” series get this upset, too?

And can someone who moves to a new place, whether that’s Honolulu or Hanoi, adopt the local culture, speak the slang, walk the walk? Is it even possible?

I had a classmate from Northwestern University who was from Pennsylvania but wanted to be a Southern belle so badly, she adopted a Southern drawl. I thought it was weird, but I wonder what folks from Georgia would say.

What are your thoughts on this? It’s a touchy — but provocative — topic. And I don’t know what the right answers are. But I think it’s worth a discussion.

And maybe the show’s writers will read it, too.

***

To read all of Cat’s blogs, visit www.nonstophonolulu.com/thedailydish. Follow Cat on Twitter @thedailydish or send her an e-mail at [email protected].

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By • October 25, 2010 • Musings, The Daily Dish

The other day I was walking into the public bathroom at Ala Moana Center
 and immediately went into that usual internal debate:

Which stall should I take? Is anyone in this one? Why don’t people flush toilets?

I was about to take the second stall when a woman emerged from it, flustered and annoyed. We made eye contact. And I thought, for a split second, “I wonder if she would be offended if I decided not to take her stall?”

We go through a myriad of emotions and decisions when entering a public bathroom. We critique cleanliness, we make judgments about people, we use complex mathematical equations to determine which stall, based on the information you have available, will be the best for your purpose. And we almost always emerge from the experience with a new perspective: Neiman Marcus has the cleanest bathrooms. I prefer stall doors with louvers. I’ll never use the bathroom at Sandy Beach again.

I was talking with a few friends about public restrooms after my epiphany at the mall, and I was surprised to hear such a lively discussion. One friend complained about wet toilet seats — “That totally defeats the purpose and effectiveness of a paper seat cover!” — and another hates when there are no hooks for purses.

I didn’t realize public bathrooms could incite such emotions!

So I’m throwing it out there to you: What annoys you most about public bathrooms? Have you had a great — or not-so-great — experience worthy to share with others? Dish it here!

***

To read all of Cat’s blogs, visit www.nonstophonolulu.com/thedailydish. Follow Cat on Twitter @thedailydish or send her an e-mail at [email protected].

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FUUD: Tsukuneya Robata Grill near UH

By • October 22, 2010 • Food, Musings, The Daily Dish

I remember when Tsukuneya Robata Grill opened in the spot on the corner of University Avenue and Dole Street vacated by Players Sports Bar (and before that, Pizza Hut).

And I remember, after eating my first meal there, “This isn’t going to last.”

But four years later, Tsukuneya is still around — and with a loyal following, devoted to the stylish restaurant’s menu of skewered, grilled and deep-fried fare.

I’ll admit, the first time I ate here I didn’t care for it. The signature tsukune — basically, a ground chicken meatball on a stick — wasn’t that appealing to me. And I didn’t see how this robatayaki would differentiate itself from the other, more established ones such as Tokkuri-Tei and Izakaya Nonbei so nearby.

Then again, the others don’t specialize in tsukune. And if you like that sort of stuff — or any food specialty hailing from Nagoya — you’ll love Tsukuneya.

A couple I’m friends with loves this place, so I decided to give it another go. And you know what? It was a lot better the second time around.

Here’s what we ate:

The menu

Image 1 of 19

Here's the prix fixe menu for Chef Mavro's Greatest Hits. And yes, it's a lot of food!

Tsukuneya Robata Grill, 1442 University Ave. Hours: 5 p.m. to midnight Sunday through Thursday, 5 p.m. to 1 a.m. Friday and Saturday. Phone: 808-943-0390, www.tsukuneyarobatagrill.com.

***

To read all of Cat’s blogs, visit www.nonstophonolulu.com/thedailydish. Follow Cat on Twitter @thedailydish or send her an e-mail at [email protected].

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By • October 21, 2010 • Musings, The Daily Dish

I don’t often get bad service at restaurants — and it’s not because they know I blog about food.

I think it has more to do with my attitude — I’m here to eat, not be served! — and my inability to notice when service is, well, not so stellar. (I can be a bit distracted, especially when there’s a plate of food in front of me.)

But there have been times when I’ve noticed outstanding service. Case in point: Nobu Yoshida, above, who runs a tiny lunchwagon in Lahaina, Maui. Despite a long line developing behind us, he still took the time to explain his business and recommend what I should order. (No wonder he’s been around for almost 20 years.)

But I do remember times when I’ve been treated ridiculously badly at restaurants: completely ignored for 30 minutes before ordering, got the wrong order and was told it was really what I had ordered. We’ve all been there, hated that.

What I never considered was that our bad experience may affect other diners.

On Eatocracy’s Lunchtime Poll on CNN.com yesterday, that topic was posed as a poll:

Does the way your fellow diners are treated have an effect on your dining pleasure?

Nearly half of respondents — 47.14 percent — responded that if a meal and companionship are great, they don’t even notice what’s happening at other tables. Another 27.42 percent said, “Life’s too short to get worked up over things like that.”

What about you? Do you get upset when you notice other patrons getting bad service — and does it affect your experience there, too? Or can you focus on your own table and ignore the rest?

***

To read all of Cat’s blogs, visit www.nonstophonolulu.com/thedailydish. Follow Cat on Twitter @thedailydish or send her an e-mail at [email protected].

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