Question: A September 6 post … highlighted the growing acceptance and pride among small breasted women (and much of the public at large) that small is beautiful, too.
Well, Dr. Dish, I’ll be blunt: I’m a mature man who’s hung like a hamster (about half of average US adult male size, as measured in both basic states), but I’m inspired by the small-is-beautiful movement among women regarding their busts. Unfortunately, when things first get to the point of physically intimacy with me, women tend to have one of two basic reactions, neither of which is good: false statements of reassurance that I am not small; or honest expressions of negative reaction (some rather extreme).
Is there a good way to ease a partner into this intimate knowledge before physical intimacy is imminent, while seeking to determine whether there may be a mutual very-small-is-ok understanding? Not every woman has to embrace tiny as an ideal, or even acceptable, characteristic in her male partner in a committed and intimate relationship, but there must be some way to mitigate the risk of unpleasant surprise and its hurtful consequences.
Dr. Dish, what should I do as future relationships progress, and I know that you and your team of expert advisers at Nonstop Honolulu can treat this often, but not openly, talked about subject with tact and sensitivity? What’s a little guy to do?
Answer: Honestly, I don’t think most women care that much about male size.
I think — and correct me if I’m wrong — but the whole size thing is something guys are more concerned about than something women actually discuss. Guys talk about size; women talk about shoes, irritating co-workers and your inability to listen.
Not to say that there aren’t women who put a lot of emphasis on these superficial things. I mean, there are guys who encourage their small-breasted women to get boob jobs, right? (Those two need to find each other.)
But in my experience, my girlfriends don’t sit around and talk about the size of their mates. There are much more interesting things to talk about — and much more important qualities of partners we desire.
I’ve done blogs in the past about deal-breakers when it comes to relationships — and never, not once did a woman post something along the lines of “bigger family jewels, please.” Never happened.
But I could be wrong.
Anyone got something to add? And please be tasteful, respectful and appropriate. It’s a family show here!
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To read all of Cat’s blogs, visit www.nonstophonolulu.com/thedailydish. Follow Cat on Twitter @thedailydish or send her an e-mail at [email protected].
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23 Comments
Dare I be the first to comment? Oh, why not? This sounds like the type of issue that used to be brought up in letters to “Penthouse Forum.” Those letters were ‘ghost written.’ So, I am not sure that this question is bona fide. However, Cat, you provided a good response. As long as the ‘part’ is functional, this should not be a big (ouch) issue. It’s more about skill and caring and there are several *ahem* ‘ways’ to be attentive to needs.
Yikes! Male genitalia so earlyin the morning really isn’t my cup of tea..but I ‘ll thrown in my 2 cents. I know it is a big deal with men. It’s a pissing contest. Who’s the strongest? Who’s the fastest? Who’s the biggest? It’s just natural selection of guys competing for mates.
@MoOgooGuypAN “Male genitalia so earlyin the morning really isn’t my cup of tea.” *snicker* Well it isn’t my cup of tea ANYtime of the day!
https://instantrimshot.com/
@808marv @MoOgooGuypAN Insert “teabag” joke here, LOL!
@MaxMaxMax D’oh LOL!
@MoOgooGuypAN Heh, the term is “Penis Envy”. Basically a pissing match. Remember the Oriental Character from “16 Candles”, Long Duck Dong”. I’ll let you folks look up Anthony Michael Hall’s classic quip about the character’s name.
To be honest, girls don’t care about size unless the guy is a jerk. If he’s nice but not well-endowed, it’s not an issue. But if he’s a jerk and not well-endowed, you can bet everyone will know about it!
@Melissa808 that’s easy for you to say. you have three cuban cabana boys (all named Javier) who clean your apartment when they are not hauling your ashes.
I give the Dr credit for taking on a sensitive subject with care and tact. It does seem to be much more of an issue for guys than for women, but all people have insecurities and this is a notable one for lots of guys. It may be that an intimate partner is the only one whose opinion really counts, and she also has strong incentive to spare his feelings unless it really is a total dealbreaker. Sure, it is one of those “dude, get over it” kinds of things, but we all in some way spend much of our lives trying to get comfortable not just in this world, but really inside our own skin. We may not like the answers, but we can ask just about anyone if our ears look big if our clothed bottom looks fat, but this is one of those things you can’t really ask very many people you know to weigh-in on. I guess it is something you can ask your doctor, and we have Cat.
Well, long story short, sorry for the pun, what you got is what you got… and bringing it up beforehand only focuses the attention on the issue when the time comes.
a hamster, huh? like the parishioner who, caught up in the preacher’s engergetic exhortation of his congregation to “Tell it all brother!”, leaped up in church and exclamimed, “I had sex with my mule” – i don’t believe i’d have told that.
As long as there’s sexual chemistry, that’s all that matters to me and my friends. Size doesn’t guarantee it, but, in truth, “very small” might complicate things. And, believe it or not, “very big” can a turnoff, too. Ouch!
Hello Dr. Cat!
It’s the inside that counts, what’s in your heart.
To focus on one tiny (sorry!) aspect of human sexuality is ludicrous. Unless he has what’s known as micropenis (see wikipedia if you think I made that up), he ought to be happy for what’s there. If there’s one thing that men have that many women seem to lack, is the knack for telling oneself “At least I’m taller/smarter/more successful/less bald/etc than him.” If his bedroom skills were first-rate, few women would truly care about his physical, uh, shortcomings.
Yeah, if he has “micropenis” that would be a bummer. But hey, that’s where he has to get creative. Hopefully he’ll be able to find a woman who will be able to “accomodate” him. Good luck brah!
Hey Cat, who said you could use that photo of me in your post? 😉 Interesting topic today…to say the least. You crack me up.
hahaha! funny post! I’ve always said, “it’s not about the size of the boat, it’s about the motion of the ocean.” LOL. 🙂
What of age male hasn’t figured out you have a much more satisfying love life if you listen more, buy more shoes and jewelry, and close the toilet seat. Bonus points if you carry out the trash, load the dishwasher, and watch the occasional chick flick. In cases like these the fact you actually have a penis is good enough… at least that is what almost everyone woman venturing an opinion has always told me.
@dbjack I agree, Chivalry is NOT DEAD!
Dear Tiny,
dbjack is right. Size isn’t the only thing you have going on or have to offer.
But too, if you were to initially wOw her with your skills while keeping your shorts on it may be less of an issue. Toys/aids are available too. It doesn’t have to be all you all the time. (did I really just post this??)
Dr. Dish,
While every male wishes the family jewels are the size of the Hope Diamond, comparatively speaking, they may only be like grains of rice. Key point is, the ability to make “starch”!
If you lack in size, I say make it up in other ways. I once dated a guy who was really small and that’s all he focused on…how small he was. I never ever commented about it or made him feel insecure. The worst part was he didn’t even make the effort to please me in other ways, he was just too hung up on himself. That was the deal breaker. Too bad, he was such a nice guy.
I can only guess that watching too much SATC (Sex and the City) may have guys feeling insecure. But honestly, my girlfriends and I have never sat around discussing the size of units. That isn’t what turns a girl on. How about being a caring and kind person? How about focusing on your lady’s needs instead of worrying about your size because trust me, in that situation, that’s not what she’s thinking about. In you’re a wonderful and secure guy, no matter what size, that’s all that matters. Just like one of the previous posters noted, one of the guys she previously dated was so concerned about his size that she couldn’t enjoy what a really nice guy he was.