This isn’t technically a real “Ask Dr. Dish” question, but it’s one I’ve heard over the years.
The question is: “What do you tell someone who asks, ‘Am I getting fat?'”
It’s not an easy question to tackle, let’s be honest. But it’s not an uncommon one to hear, especially for guys who probably get it a lot more often than they’d like.
I once asked my then-boyfriend (now-husband) if he would tell me the straight truth if I had gained weight. He said he would; I didn’t believe him. So we came up with a compromise: if either of us put on a few extra pounds, we’d say, “Well, it looks like everyone’s going on a diet. Including the dogs.”
So far, we haven’t had to say that. Yet.
So I’m summoning up the ladies who read this blog — and the men who have found tactful ways of answering this touchy question — to share your thoughts on this.
What’s the best way to deal with this question? Evade it? Use “fluffy” terms? Or tell the straight-up truth?
“if you have to ask…”
“more cushion for the pushin'”
I would tell her even if she didn’t ask
I tell her when she looks like she lost or gained weight
People tell me that all the time, without me asking
So why would it be different for me telling someowne else?
” Did you lose weight?”
I hear that about 2 times a month from co-workers, friends, bartenders
on the other hand…
my girlfriends always say to me, “Why don’t you wear tighter clothes when we go out?”
that’s something I would never say that to a girl I was dating
I simply say, “No, don’t be ridiculous”.
“I’m not fat, I’m big boned” 😛
This one is like the signs on the beach in winter that say ‘Caution: Dangerous Surf Conditions.’ I have friends here where the husband no matter what says his wife looks great. On her part an opportunity never passes to bring up the fact he needs to lose weight. It works for them but it drives me nuts to listen to it. The question in the end is did you marry the looks or the person underneath. To some people the looks always come first. Looks go away. The person underneath does not.
My wife and I started eating healthier along with exercirsing for more than a year now and have lost weight. So it’s, “do I look like I lost weight?”.
I have a husband that’s way too honest and I’ve told him there’s only ONE ANSWER and it’s ALWAYS – NO. And yes, if we have to ask then we already know the answer. No need to throw salt in the wound! Just be supportive and go for a workout walk! Husbands… buy healthy take out for dinner!
If you know the answer, why ask the question?
CAT: When people ask me how I am, I say, “Old, Fat, and Poor, other than that I am perfect”!
Whent the button on your jeans becomes a lethal projectile when you sit down on the bus then you don’t have to ask.
I just noticed that the “Am I Fat” article is proceeded with a food pic…. feast or famine?
Hey Cat … there is no right answer …
… there is only a path to a dark treacherous ending …
… so what’s a guy to do??? …
… but really, when I was ever asked the question “Am I fat?”, of course I’d lie if I had to … but I’d probably also mention that maybe we should ask the truth-teller, no sugar-coating, no beating around the bush … Mr. Scale …
… he doesn’t know how to lie ..
Tell the truth….nicely and go on the journey together to motivate each other.
I’m with rayboyjr most of the way. The only way to answer the question is with a single question: “Do I look stupid?” I’m a guy, and I’ve learned this the hard way.
If she really wants to know if she IS fat, he can tell her to ask her doctor on the next visit. There are very few people in the upper part of North America or its outlying islands who ask their doctor and aren’t advised to lose at least a few pounds or exercise more. Mission accomplished.
He can never answer directly or in detail the question about whether she LOOKS fat. All emotion, no reason. Gents, even if she looks fantastic today, at some point in the distant tomorrow, when she may look a pound or two over medically ideal, your silence or visible deception will be your guilty plea if you answer the question today.