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Don’t judge me by my dogs

By Catherine Toth Fox • April 8, 2013 • Musings

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Before I had Indy and when I was living on Mariner’s Ridge, I would take Sunny to the Hawaii Kai dog park just about every afternoon.

This was my daily ritual, a way to socialize her while getting her outdoors and running around.

But my dog picked up a bad habit: she started to bark. And not just random squawking, either. She barked and yelped at certain dogs on the other side of the fence in an attempt to get these larger dogs to run with her. And most of them did. But the barking didn’t go unnoticed by some dog owners who, well, didn’t approve of her very normal dog behavior.

I overheard one dog owner complain to another: “Oh, there goes that dog again. Always barking.”

My dog park friends and I would talk about this all the time: do people judge us by our dog’s behavior? And do we look at badly behaving pooches and think, “Hmm. Bad dog. Bad owner”?

I had read on Cesar Millan’s blog, Cesar’s Way, that yes, the way your dog behaves is a reflection of what type of person other people view you as.

“Studies show that when a stranger comes across your pup, he or she will recognize certain behaviors in your dog, which they will link up to you. Many times, the assumptions people make about you based on your dog’s behavior are unconscious biases that we should all be aware of.”

That’s scary to me.

I have two dogs, both of whom had very different personalities. (Does this mean I’m schizophrenic…?) Sunny isn’t as energetic and hyper as Indy. And she’s friendlier to other dogs, as long as they’re not twice her size. Indy is more protective and jealous. He’s selfish and hates sharing. Sunny likes to be left alone. Indy is a snuggler and loves attention. And he loves to play. He can play all day, while Sunny prefers to find a quiet spot in the house and nap.

So what does this say about me?

I’m sure parents have the same fears about their kids, that people are judging them based on the way their kids behave. But that’s a DNA issue. I don’t share genes with my dogs. I really shouldn’t be compared to them.

So what do you think? Do you judge dog owners by way their dogs act? And dog owners, do you worry people are judging you? Because they are!

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About the Author

Catherine Toth Fox

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16 Comments

  • Reply David Jackson April 8, 2013 at 3:43 am

    Tough issue. I know people judge me based on lots of criteria. My son, my dog, my cat, the car I drive, where I go to church, where I went to school, and the list goes on forever. The most interesting one to me is the angst with which some worry about why I don’t use Rogaine or something like it. Yes, female friends of mine. Of course they are haole women, my Asian female friends think my balding head is adorable…To make it more local, pullover Aloha shirts were popular when I was with the bank. I like the button down. People discussed this with me regularly, like I was naked or out of uniform. To me it was bizarre anyone cared. I did not change, two years later I was in style again.

    To me what matters is the question who are you trying to please and why. What my son thinks of me matters to me, someone at the dog park? Who cares? I like all the dogs, the barky ones, the slobbery kine, the clumsy, the clever, the playful, and the king of hill dogs. Takes all kinds to make a dog park. Live and let live.

    • Reply Catherine Toth April 12, 2013 at 8:16 am

      This is very true. I was really bothered by the people at the dog park who would make snide remarks about Sunny’s barking. Otherwise, she’s a very playful, sweet dog. Never got into fights with any other dog (or owner) and loves to play. The barking thing is what dogs do, right?

  • Reply M April 8, 2013 at 6:27 am

    Hello Cat,
    I totally undrerstand how you feel, my dog too bark at other dogs at the dog park but my dog is BIG, 80lbs. The other dog owners are intimidated just by the size and the bark and for that reason I stop going to the dog park but she’s very friendly to people.

    • Reply Catherine Toth April 12, 2013 at 8:15 am

      What kind of dog do you have?

  • Reply Annoddah Dave April 8, 2013 at 6:30 am

    CAT: People are judgmental about everything associated with you. Your kids, your husband, your home, your car, your pets, your clothes, your looks, your smell, etc. That is human nature. Am certain you will find some people judge you by your belly button.

    • Reply Pomai April 8, 2013 at 7:58 am

      An interesting and true story on that note, my friend’s mother used to own an upholstery shop, when one day an older woman who “looked” homeless walked in and asked if she could have her purse repaired, as the strap was torn, and the bottom fallout from under it.

      Low and behold, when my friend’s mom kindly agreed to repair, not expecting to be paid, this “homeless”, ragged looking woman pulled out a huge wad of cash that from her purse and started counting, asking how much it would cost.

      NEVER judge a book by its cover. Some of the nicest looking people can be the meanest, and vice versa.

    • Reply Catherine Toth April 12, 2013 at 8:15 am

      This is very true. You can get away from it.

  • Reply Pomai April 8, 2013 at 7:51 am

    I have to say, when I first met you this past Saturday, I thought you had all the same traits you described your dogs as having — and I haven’t even met your dogs yet. Just kidding! LOL!!

    My only questioning factor is your first sentence where you said, “Before I had Indy and when I was living on Mariner’s Ridge”. “had” being the operative word, as if you gave birth to Indy. Any maternal instincts going on there? Hey, gotta’ ask!

    Replace “had” with “got”, and the question would’ve never come up, of course. lol

    Now I’m off to Walmart to “observe” such behavior.

    • Reply David Jackson April 8, 2013 at 8:31 am

      What’s that??? There are people mating in Walmart??? Cool!!!

    • Reply Catherine Toth April 12, 2013 at 8:11 am

      LOL! I didn’t realize I wrote “had.” Like Indy came out of my birth canal. Funny!

      Well, if you thought my dogs were smart, adorable and super hilarious, then you can judge me by them anyway!

  • Reply rayboyjr April 8, 2013 at 10:23 am

    Hey Cat … yeah, I have to admit … like chidren, I think dogs are a reflection of their owners … but I don’t judge people because of that … rather, I just accept that as the way they are raised or trained … and it doesn’t bother me … I like all dogs, shy, hyper, barker, whatever …

    … yeah, I was one of those guys with a hyper, overactive maltese … that would chase all the other dogs around … including the big dogs … and I would always be apologizing … and feel like they’re thinking I can’t control my dog … but we liked him that way …

    … the dog parks are for all dogs … I’m sure all the other dogs don’t mind … it’s the other dog owners who disciminate … shame on them!!! …

    • Reply Catherine Toth April 12, 2013 at 8:13 am

      I had a dog before Sunny who was super mellow and timid — not at all like me. And he hated going out. Total homebody.

      But I do think how a dog behaves — not so much their personality traits — is often associated with owners. I admit to doing that, too!

  • Reply Toby Neal April 8, 2013 at 12:51 pm

    Yep.
    I mostly judge dog owners who don’t clean up their dog’s poop or leave them unleashed when they’re agressive.

    We’ve been attacked by pit bulls off leash. I am not fond of pit bulls with bad manners and insensitive owners, who dont know how their dogs scare and intimidate other dogs and people.

    • Reply Catherine Toth April 12, 2013 at 8:14 am

      You have?? OMG, what happened? Pit bulls can be aggressive, though I’ve met far more who were sweet and mellow. Comes down to ownership. But you’re right — if you have a dog that can be intimidating or easily reactive, best to keep him/her on a leash. Lots of owners (at least in my neighborhood) don’t do that. We’ve been attacked, too.

  • Reply The Tutu April 8, 2013 at 6:17 pm

    Guilty! We have new neighbors behind us with a tall wall between our properties. I haven’t met them, but my opinion of them has already been formed by the constant yapping of their dogs ALL DAY LONG

    • Reply Catherine Toth April 12, 2013 at 8:14 am

      LOL! My retired friend who lives in Hawaii Kai would have to agree with you on that!

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About Me

About Me
Born and raised on O‘ahu, Hawaiʻi, Catherine Toth Fox has been chronicling her adventures in her blog, The Cat Dish, for more than a decade. She worked as a newspaper reporter in Hawai‘i for 10 years and continues to freelance—in between teaching journalism, hitting the surf and eating everything in sight—for national and local print and online publications. She’s currently the editor of HAWAIʻI Magazine.

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