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Love it when some things never change

By Catherine Toth Fox • July 28, 2014 • Musings, The Daily Dish

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On Saturday my pal, Bruce, celebrated his 60th birthday.

Yes, I used “friend” and “60” in a sentence.

See, for more than a decade, I’ve been friends with this group of early-morning surfers I affectionately called the “Old Guys.” And Bruce is one of the youngest in the group.

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That’s Bruce, in the red shirt.

It all started years ago, way back when I was a reporter with the now-defunct Honolulu Advertiser. I would paddle out in Waikīkī at first light to catch a few waves before heading to work. There were a bunch of us doing the same thing — an elementary school counselor, a Wrigley’s sales guy, a restaurant owner, a retired mechanic, a landscaper. Like it happens at every surf break, I’m sure around the world, we all started talking. First, about boards, maybe. Then, about jobs. And finally, we were all on a first-name basis.

We started meeting for coffee in front of McDonald’s on Kalākaua Avenue, then breakfast at Rainbow Drive-In. We trained for triathlons, we organized lunches and dinners, we even went on trips to Vegas and Japan.

For more than 10 years, this was my family.

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As it happens with every group of friends, things change. Some stopped surfing or moved away. Others slowed down or found other things to do. Some left the group, new people joined. It’s different.

I remember vividly a moment when I was sitting at Rainbow’s years ago, listening to everyone chatting and laughing, as we normally do, and thinking, “Right now, everything is perfect.” But in the back of my mind, I knew that things would inevitably change.

And it did.

I don’t paddle out as often anymore, opting to surf with my husband in the afternoons instead. And now that I’m freelancing full time, I find it easier to work in the early morning instead of surf, anyway, so it all works out. But I do miss the Old Guys, the banter and the laughter, but life has moved in a different direction for me. And it’s all good.

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It was nice to see everyone on Saturday, catching up with friends I don’t see as often anymore. I can’t say I wasn’t a little sad to see how much things had changed — and how much I’ve missed! — but it was nice to know a lot hadn’t. They still meet at Rainbow’s, they still tease and bullshit each other, and the laughter hasn’t stopped.

I’ve always believed that life has to move forward and that we have to keep plowing ahead, no matter what. There’s no sense in stopping or going back or wishing things were different. Things are always going to be different, and the only you can do is accept it and keep moving.

But it’s nice to look back sometimes and smile.

Bruce FujimotofriendshipHawaiiOld Guyssome things never changesurfing in Waikikiyakudoshi
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About the Author

Catherine Toth Fox

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7 Comments

  • Reply M July 28, 2014 at 12:36 pm

    Hello Cat,
    Time doesn’t stand still, time and life moves on.

  • Reply guest July 28, 2014 at 1:34 pm

    The only constant is change.

  • Reply turkfontaine July 28, 2014 at 2:41 pm

    i’ve been following you and “the old guys” since you were a teeny wahine of a Lois Lane, back in the ‘oughts’. they will remember you, and you them for eternity.

  • Reply Annoddah Dave July 28, 2014 at 5:26 pm

    CAT: The only thing that doesn’t change is “Life is good”.

  • Reply Dennis July 29, 2014 at 4:58 am

    I remember the old days with all it’s glory and youth. I never thought of getting old and forgetting the wonderful past.

  • Reply bondancr July 29, 2014 at 6:05 pm

    Great story, heartwarming and wonderfully written.

  • Reply WildeOscar July 31, 2014 at 6:56 am

    We should all pause, from time to time, and look at where we’ve been before diving forward into the unknown future. You seem to do both very well, with grace, and sensitivity, and humor.

    The older I get, the younger old people seem to me.

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About Me

About Me
Born and raised on O‘ahu, Hawaiʻi, Catherine Toth Fox has been chronicling her adventures in her blog, The Cat Dish, for more than a decade. She worked as a newspaper reporter in Hawai‘i for 10 years and continues to freelance—in between teaching journalism, hitting the surf and eating everything in sight—for national and local print and online publications. She’s currently the editor of HAWAIʻI Magazine.

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