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Love me, love my dogs

By Catherine Toth Fox • February 21, 2012 • Musings, The Daily Dish, The Dog Dish

When I was single, I had a rule: if you dated me, you dated my dog.

So it was only fair that when I went out on my first date with my fiance, Derek, I brought along Sunny, my then-1-year-old toy fox terrier-Pomeranian mix pooch and roommate.

I mean, if this guy was going to like me, he may as well start by liking my dog.

Apparently, I’m not alone in this.

According to new research, a woman is more satisfied in her relationship when her partner feels the same about her pet as she does. Meaning, if she’s close to her dog, he’d better be, too.

That makes total sense.

It’s like anything in a person’s life. If something is important to you, it should matter to your mate. Pets included.

Derek was a good sport about the date. We went hiking with Sunny and another dog I was sitting. And he took to both dogs right away, earning him enough bonus points that we went out to lunch after and dinner a couple of days later.

Some pet owners would even go as far as saying the way a potential mate takes to their dogs or cats is a deal-breaker. If they get along, he’s in; if not, the dog gets dibs on the bed.

Anyone feel the same way — or is it just me?

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15 Comments

  • Reply EdW February 21, 2012 at 2:28 am

    When my wife and I first got together I had a shepherd/golden mix. He took to her right away. Well after she moved in he did something I don’t remember that ticked her off and I told her that he was here first. No more comments were heard. that was 33 years ago.

    • Reply Catherine Toth February 23, 2012 at 9:57 pm

      I would say the same thing, too. I’m with you. 🙂

  • Reply Laura Toth February 21, 2012 at 5:06 am

    Saw a beautiful yellow lab in the back of a pickup truck in the parking lot. Was petting it when it’s owner came out. After talking a minute, he said his ex girlfriend told him it was either the dog or her. We told him he made a good choice.

    • Reply Catherine Toth February 23, 2012 at 10:05 pm

      COUSIN! Thanks for posting!

      And I agree, he made the right choice. Anyone who says, “It’s me or the dog,” better be prepared for the answer.

  • Reply M February 21, 2012 at 6:39 am

    Hello Cat!
    When I met my wife she had a cat and I didn’t like cats but we all got along that day and I like cats nows now.

    • Reply Catherine Toth February 23, 2012 at 10:07 pm

      I love cats — but I’m allergic to them. Sad.

  • Reply rayboyjr February 21, 2012 at 9:01 am

    Hey Cat … love dogs!!! … and I know a couple women who’d put their dogs (their babies) before anyone else in this world …

    … yeah, the relationship can get a bit tricky … planning outings with and without the dogs … finding pet-friendly places … having her show way more affection to the dog … whew, it can be a lot to take sometimes … and I can see how it would be a deal-breaker to some …

    … but yeah, best to find out early … if the relationship, including the dog, is going to work out …

    • Reply Catherine Toth February 23, 2012 at 10:08 pm

      I think dogs (pets) are like kids. You either want ’em or you don’t. And you need to be on the same page about it. If not, it’s going to affect your relationship, no matter what.

  • Reply David Jackson February 21, 2012 at 11:35 am

    In my case it is all about the way someone treats my son Nathaniel. He is now 12 years old and a very bright young man. he can spot the phony chicks from the good ladies really quickly. If someone is interested in me at all they need to pass his test. I’m not a dinner and movie guy. I am a play basketball at the park with my son, go fishing, surfing, sailing, hiking, play with the dogs, go to concerts guy… and so is my son. And, we can waste an evening playing our guitars (beginners) and playing the XBOX. If you don’t respect my son, might as well get lost. If you can’t wate away an evening playing cards with the kid…

    So, do I understand your thing with the dogs? Oh yeah. Suspect you’d be the same if you were a single mom. Says a lot of really good things about you.

    • Reply Catherine Toth February 23, 2012 at 10:19 pm

      That’s awesome about your son. Sounds like a great kid! And yes, like dogs — actually, MORE so than dogs — kids are non-negotiable.

      But the same can be said for lifestyles, too. If you’re active, you probably want someone who’s active, too. Or if you’re into World of Warcraft, your mate better be into it, too, or at least tolerate of it. It all just has to fit.

  • Reply Emily February 21, 2012 at 2:10 pm

    Lady loves Cat and D and feels honored to have been on your first date. I know, she told me so.

    • Reply Catherine Toth February 23, 2012 at 10:19 pm

      Aw. Lady was probably the reason we went on a second date. D loves her. 🙂

  • Reply Rich February 22, 2012 at 1:06 pm

    Its strange enough a lot of women say that if you don’t like my dog then them and the prospect boyfriend can’t get on.

    I had a friend whose girlfriend had a very unruly dog, it even ate one of his expensive shoes too. When he told me the story about how he woke up to find his shoes half eaten by a dog. I just had to laugh and say that the dog has good taste.

    On the other hand where does the other party stand when it comes to having to cope with a disobedient dog that bites and chews everything in their path. I have seen a few relationships break up as a result. Would that rule still stand ? what would you do in that case ?

    • Reply Catherine Toth February 23, 2012 at 10:23 pm

      Aw, man, tough question. What happens if your dog hates your potential mate? That’s not going to work out, either.

      To me, unruly or disobedient dogs should be dealt with, regardless of a mate. If my dogs were chewing up shoes or barking incessantly, I’d get help. I’d hire a trainer or get that dog in some kind of obedience class or I’d rent every episode of “The Dog Whisperer.” Something! Dogs that behave that way aren’t happy — and I want everyone around me, dogs included, to be happy.

      That’s what I would do 🙂

  • Reply Henry Hank Chapin May 13, 2013 at 8:33 pm

    It works two ways. You are not the only arbiter of what works in a relationship. The man could decide otherwise. Especially if you have to have the dog sleep with you.

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About Me

About Me
Born and raised on O‘ahu, Hawaiʻi, Catherine Toth Fox has been chronicling her adventures in her blog, The Cat Dish, for more than a decade. She worked as a newspaper reporter in Hawai‘i for 10 years and continues to freelance—in between teaching journalism, hitting the surf and eating everything in sight—for national and local print and online publications. She’s currently the editor of HAWAIʻI Magazine.

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