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Ode to ‘Elua

By Catherine Toth Fox • October 21, 2014 • Musings, The Daily Dish

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‘Elua, our beloved chicken with a big personality and an adventurous spirit, died last night.

We took her in a couple of days ago after finding her standing out in the rain, soaked and frail. She wouldn’t eat, she wouldn’t move. We knew it was bad.

It was the second time we had taken ‘Elua to Feathers and Fur Animal Hospital in Kailua this year for being egg bound. (That means she had an egg inside her that she couldn’t expel. Read my blog on that.) The first time we left her there — incidentally during Hurricane Iselle; she was back at the vet this time around during Hurricane Ana — for about a week. The vet drained the fluid in her belly, put her in an incubator, and fed her antibiotics daily.

We brought her home and gave her calcium supplements and antibiotics every day for about a week, slowly reintroducing her back with the other two hens when she was strong enough to hold her own. (Chickens notoriously pick on the weaker in the flock.) And for a while there, she looked fine. She was healthy enough to jump into the hutch and was eating with the others. I had no idea she was suffering.

I’m not sure how long she had been sick. I noticed she was acting a bit strange on Friday when she didn’t jump into the hutch to eat. She stood outside in the mud, her red crown flopped over, just looking at me. I poured some chicken feed into my hand and let her eat out of my outstretched palm.

It wasn’t until the next morning that we found her, standing near the banana trees, confused and disoriented, that we knew she was really sick. We rushed her to the vet.

‘Elua tried to pull through. She just wasn’t strong enough. The infection ran rampant through her belly, making it difficult for her to stand, breath or digest anything, including the medication she desperately needed.

She was suffering — and we had to make a choice.

My husband called me in the morning and told me the prognosis. It wasn’t good. We could keep ‘Elua at the hospital indefinitely, but she likely would never get better.

I have never put down an animal before. All of our pets — guinea pigs, rabbits, dogs, fish, parakeet — have all died naturally, as far as I can remember. I never had to make a choice about whether they lived or not.

There was really no option: to euthanize ‘Elua was the most compassionate decision. She was in a lot of pain and there was little hope she would ever recover.

We drove to Kailua yesterday to say goodbye to our feisty chicken, the one who would escape the pen so often my husband had to double the height of the fence. She wasn’t the biggest or the bravest, but she was the smartest and the most adventurous, ready for anything and fiercely independent. If she could, she would have lived in the house with us.

The vet invited us to stay with ‘Elua as she injected her with the euthanizing drug. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, watching her emaciated body twist and jerk as the drug circulated throughout her body and stopped her heart. I watched her chest fill and contract, fill and contract, until it stopped. And it was quiet.

My husband stood there, stoic and strong. But even he couldn’t hold back the tears. That’s what I love and admire about this man. He has the kindest, biggest, most compassionate heart for any creature. Even when he fishes, he’s respectful, taking only what he needs — which is usually just one fish — kills it quickly and humanely, and thanks it for giving up its life to feed us. It’s a special thing to be in the presence of someone who respects and values life so much, and he has inspired me to view the world in much the same way.

I cried. I cried hours later. Even in bed, watching “The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.” Even as I blog. It’s strange for me, someone who has never had chickens before, to feel such an emotional connection to them. I felt badly that we didn’t see how much she was suffering earlier, that she was pretending to be strong and healthy. I know this was the best choice, to end her pain and let her sleep forever, but it’s still hard to watch her life leave her.

What I’ve learned is life, no matter how small or short or seemingly trivial, is valuable and worth our respect. That’s what ‘Elua and my husband taught me.

Farewell, my sweet bird. You’ll be missed but not forgotten.

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About the Author

Catherine Toth Fox

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13 Comments

  • Reply Snoskred October 21, 2014 at 1:38 am

    I’m so sorry for your loss. 🙁

  • Reply expat jen October 21, 2014 at 3:17 am

    🙁 I had a chicken, as my first pet, when I was just 5. Her name was Henrietta. I still think of her often. I know chickens aren’t the typical household pet, but they are special creatures.

    I’m sorry for your loss. It’s never easy to lose a member of your ohana.

  • Reply kat October 21, 2014 at 4:51 am

    sorry to hear! please take care.

  • Reply Dennis October 21, 2014 at 6:41 am

    Sorry About Elua ! I know the feeling of losing a pet. Take care!

  • Reply Denise October 21, 2014 at 8:45 am

    It’s a heartbreaking decision, helping a beloved animal find restful peace. But you did the right thing — and in a way, it should be harder on us than it is on them, especially if they’ve been feeling sick or in pain. It truly is a release, and it’s a kindness to help them move on. The way you described letting her go was exactly like when we let our Indy go. She was in our arms, time seemed to stand still, and I can remember every breath she took before she passed on. It’s something that changes you forever, making a decision like that, but it’s one of the most precious, profound things you can experience. Bless both your hearts for making such a brave choice.

  • Reply willie boy October 21, 2014 at 9:01 am

    wow so sad. sorry for your loss.

  • Reply jaydee October 21, 2014 at 9:48 am

    We lost our pet cat, Dharma a couple of months ago. Our pets are really our family and when we lose them the loss and sorrow is no less difficult.

    Sorry Cat and Kai for your loss…

  • Reply Kim October 21, 2014 at 9:58 am

    My heart aches for you. That has got to be one of the most difficult things to do.

  • Reply Kanakalino October 21, 2014 at 10:52 am

    I wish that people could make the choice for euthanasia for themselves (doctor-assisted suicide), so we could treat ourselves or our loved ones with the same compassion and dignity as we treat pets. Let’s hope the legislature will change the law to allow us to exercise that choice. Read “Death With Dignity” by local resident Robert Orfali.

  • Reply Hank October 21, 2014 at 8:33 pm

    I held my cat once for euthanasia and there was no twisting or turning. It was amazingly peaceful, as she just stopped living–just like that. Impressive that the chicken received so much empathy from you.

  • Reply M October 21, 2014 at 9:23 pm

    Hello Cat,
    Sorry for your loss. Pets are part of the family. This past March I had to make that decision for my dog of over 18 years. She had a tumor the size of a softball and because of her age the vet said she may not pull through an operation. She was in a lot of pain so as a family we decided it was the best for her to put her to sleep and free her of her pain and let her go to a better place. I cried as I stayed with her till her last breath. I cried for days and even weeks. Till this day I still feel emotional.

  • Reply Rick Nakama October 22, 2014 at 7:41 am

    So sorry for your loss. This is the type of situation is what makes it so difficult for me to have pets. I have a hard time thinking about when the time comes. Egg laying hens are what we have wanted to add to our home, but I’m worried that I would not be able to handle this type of situation.

  • Reply Kim October 22, 2014 at 7:42 am

    Lovely tribute. To Elua and your husband.

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About Me

About Me
Born and raised on O‘ahu, Hawaiʻi, Catherine Toth Fox has been chronicling her adventures in her blog, The Cat Dish, for more than a decade. She worked as a newspaper reporter in Hawai‘i for 10 years and continues to freelance—in between teaching journalism, hitting the surf and eating everything in sight—for national and local print and online publications. She’s currently the editor of HAWAIʻI Magazine.

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