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Roses? I'll take Ben & Jerry's instead

By Catherine Toth Fox • February 14, 2011 • Musings, The Daily Dish

I’ve never been the romantic type.

You won’t catch me swooning over moonlit serenades or cooing over rose petals strewn all over the living room floor. (I mean, who’s going to clean that up?)

A room filled with lit candles makes me worry about house fires and bouquets of balloons remind me of the circus. And I’ve never been to one.

Valentine’s Day, obviously, is not my kind of holiday.

I’m practical to a fault. Meaning, I would prefer a toaster oven over a champagne-filled bath. And spending hundreds of dollars on roses that won’t last a week is, well, a bit excessive. That’s a month’s worth of groceries!

But it really comes down to this: I think being romantic should involve thought and consideration. I find it utterly romantic when my boyfriend brings home a pint of my favorite Ben & Jerry’s ice cream when I’ve had a rough day at work. It’s better — and, let’s be honest, much tastier — than a bouquet of star-gazer lilies.

I read a column by Karen Templer in Salon.com where she talks about her disdain for red roses. And here’s why:

It requires no thought, no time, and no effort to send someone red roses. They are as ubiquitous as they are obvious. All that’s required is some method of payment. So how does a gift so entirely impersonal add up to romance?

Exactly.

So save your money this Valentine’s Day and do something thoughtful. It might requires a little more effort but, trust me, it will be worth it.

***

Still don’t know what to get your significant other today? Here are some thoughtful gift ideas for him, for her or just for yourself.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

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About the Author

Catherine Toth Fox

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17 Comments

  • Reply dbjack February 13, 2011 at 8:20 pm

    Valentine’s Day is not high on my list either, think overly romantic symbolism has no basis in reality. Me, I think a tub of Chunky Monkey is a pretty good idea for this faux day.

    My idea of a romantic day would be golf in the morning, sailing in the afternoon, and then a night at Haleiwa Joe’s Kaneohe. Some may say that is a guy’s day but frankly I know a lot of sisters that love to sail and play golf. and who doesn’t like a great pupu platter and a margarita.

    Of your photos I’d take the waffler, love waffles for breakfast.

  • Reply matti2d February 13, 2011 at 9:09 pm

    what if it is a rose/roses that he grew himself? would that change the significance of it?
    probably like most guys, I’m not too into valentine’s day, either. my wife and I will exchange cards for convention’s sake and I’ll probably cook something good for dinner, but my wife, true pake that she is, gets mad if I get her flowers from anywhere but costco.

    I’m thinking surf and turf tonight. maybe steak and scampi.

    • Reply Cat February 13, 2011 at 10:39 pm

      @matti2d Actually, I wouldn’t mind a plant — something that would last longer than cut flowers. (I used to work in for a florist, so I know how overpriced these flowers are!)

  • Reply WildeOscar February 13, 2011 at 9:30 pm

    I am a long way from home for work, and had to leave home Sunday afternoon. If my son came through as agreed, and I am sure he did, my wife has her favorite edible treat and the card I left with my son waiting for her this morning.

    If it doesn’t happen the other 364 days of the year, being presented with a cup of coffee before rising from bed, and just about when the alarm clock is going to go off, is a nice treat.

  • Reply Ynaku February 13, 2011 at 9:46 pm

    Ice Cream can be romantic. First buy 2 seperate tubs of Ben and Jerrys, look each other in the eyes and spoon feed each other. You never know where that can lead you 😉 Back to the market for more?

    Yep, I am so the romantic. *pshaw*

    • Reply Cat February 13, 2011 at 10:39 pm

      @Ynaku Good plan!

  • Reply EdW February 13, 2011 at 11:34 pm

    I did the bouquet of lilies, mums and arose or two, very aromatic makes the whole house smell good, accompanied that with a box of Giradelli choclates. Then tonight dinner at Ristorante Antipasti. Wife is so pleased.

  • Reply Eric February 14, 2011 at 12:01 am

    My wife would want both … ice cream and flowers 🙂 No, not really. Thoughtfulness is most important to her too. However, I think I would score very low marks if I ever bought her a toaster oven for V-day or for her B-day 🙂

    • Reply Cat February 17, 2011 at 3:28 am

      @Eric It really comes down to that — thoughtfulness. If you get something meaningless because it’s convenient, that doesn’t say much about how you feel toward that person.

  • Reply Sushi February 14, 2011 at 2:47 am

    I’m with you! Ice cream is much better than flowers, anyway. Hand me some of that Ben and Jerry’s.

    • Reply Cat February 17, 2011 at 3:28 am

      @Sushi Seriously, you MUST try the Americone Dream. It’s RIDICULOUSLY good. Like a Drumstick in ice cream form.

    • Reply Sushi February 17, 2011 at 4:13 am

      @Cat I agree, Americone Dream is ridiculously delicious. The lack of it in my life must be fixed now.

  • Reply turkfontaine February 14, 2011 at 2:55 am

    my wife, Inez still says the best Valentine’s gift she ever got from me was a collection of books and objects that reflected or recalled things she loves, architecture, Texas history and cooking. it was, she said, the time i took to assemble it all, and that meant during all that time i was thinking of her.

    she’s a difficult, stubborn, opinionated, uncompromising, fearless woman, afflicted with supreme integrity and an unwavering social conscience and unshakeable faith in humanity. i’ve been thinking about her every day for 28 years

  • Reply M February 14, 2011 at 9:58 am

    Hello Cat!
    I’m with you, I’m not very romantic. My wife says it’s the mans job to plan and do everything on those special occasions. I feel it should be both .

  • Reply sunshyne402 February 14, 2011 at 11:13 am

    Right there with ya, sister! Well, actually, I am romantic, but a very, very practical one! Thoughtfulness isn’t just appealing to the practical, but it definitely carries more worth and weight than chocolates, roses, and a piece of generic bling.

    • Reply Cat February 17, 2011 at 3:26 am

      @sunshyne402 Food, though, is always the way to win me over. 🙂

  • Reply padams February 14, 2011 at 7:45 pm

    Great roses quote–it’s true, love is knowing what the other desires completed by the willingness and actuality of getting up and delivering it–this also happens to be the definition of “existence.”

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About Me

About Me
Born and raised on O‘ahu, Hawaiʻi, Catherine Toth Fox has been chronicling her adventures in her blog, The Cat Dish, for more than a decade. She worked as a newspaper reporter in Hawai‘i for 10 years and continues to freelance—in between teaching journalism, hitting the surf and eating everything in sight—for national and local print and online publications. She’s currently the editor of HAWAIʻI Magazine.

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