I try to not to do things that make me feel overly uncomfortable — or incredibly stressed.
And going back to college does both.
So you can imagine my dread yesterday when I attended my first graduate-level seminar in years.
I had never taken a class from this particular English professor, though I’ve known him since my undergraduate days at the University of Hawaii-Manoa. He’s been encouraging me to return to the English department and, well, do something. Finish my master’s, apply for the Ph.D., write. But I’ve thrown every reason — read: excuse — at him and everyone else who’s urged me to go back to school.
I don’t have time. It’s hard with two jobs. What am I going to do with a Ph.D.? Can I bring my dogs to class?
But now that I’ve got a little more time — read yesterday’s blog — I’ve considered taking one class. Just one.
I used my reporting skills to find out a little more about this class I’m taking — really, to find out what the workload was like. I talked with a couple of grad students who had taken this professor’s class last semester.
“He buried me,” said one.
“I never read so much in my life,” said another.
Apparently, he assigned something like 900 to 1,300 pages of reading a week. A WEEK! That, in the words of one of my students at Kapiolani Community College, is “like reading a Harry Potter book a week — but not that fun.”
Exactly.
So I went to the first class last night, a little nervous about diving back into midterms, homework, late-night reading and cram sessions. (It wasn’t fun the first time around.)
I sat there, wondering how I was going to keep up with the reading, if I was even going to understand the concepts we were going to discuss, if I was going to cut and run.
Turns out, I wasn’t the only person in class freaking out.
There was a woman who’s returning to school after a couple of decades. Another student who barely survived this professor’s class last semester (and is back for repeat punishment). Another who took my journalism class online several years ago and is taking her very first graduate seminar ever.
I guess I’m not alone.
So I’m going to stick it out. For now. We’ll see after reading, “Disjuncture and Difference in the Global Cultural Economy.”
Got any advice?
28 Comments
Cat,
Too much transitions at the same time! We grow by challenging ourselves but there are times we need to self-evaluate. I haven’t been at these dramatic crossing points in awhile. Do you think it would be possible to cut back anywhere in your hectic life? This blog is very good, but could even this be sacrificed for your greater good? (I’m jus’ saying this as a devil’s advocate…)
Whatever you decide, please stick to your guns & don’t regret any of it.
btw with regards to Madison: French Onion Soup with Wisconsin cheese on a cold winter day—To Die for!
I know… I was reading all the comments and thinking maybe I’m doing too much. (I think my mom is posting under a fake name!) I really should cut back on things in my life… I don’t know about the blog, though. I think that’s become an addiction…
Thanks for the Madison tips, by the way. French onion soup sounds reeeeeally good.(Although I’ve got donuts on the brain today.)
I agree with eddyo. You seem to do so much. Aside from working to earn a reasonable income, do just what you love most. The older I get, the more I realize that I can’t do or be it all, all at the same time. With your fiance leaving, it also seems that it might be nice to have a break on the obligations here at home — that way, it’ll be a lot easier to travel and maybe add an extra weekend getaway halfway between. I think it’s great that you’re always up for a challenge, though.
P.S. Since you probably read a lot, I’d love a future blog with new book ideas. 🙂
A book blog! OK, good idea! I think I tried that once a loooong time ago — not the children’s books blog, but another one — and it wasn’t very popular. I love reading, so I love hearing what other people are reading, too, get suggestions, feedback, etc. Maybe I’ll try that again. I don’t think the books I’ll be reading for class will be that interesting to the general public, though. 🙂
I concur with Bumper and eddyo… Seems like you have so much on your plate how do you get time to yourself to collect your wits? I mean I can totally understand you going back to school to take a class, especially since Derek is leaving and it will make the time pass much quicker. However, I think in life people in general tend to overload their plate and not give themselves enough time to just chill and relax and enjoy themselves. I hardly think reading 1300 pages a week is going to be relaxing for anyone, even for those who live to read….
I dont know Cat, seems like allot at one time and little time to digest everything….
But hey Sistah, all of us are behind you no matter what you do! The faithful followers of the blog will always support Cat no matter what.
Wits? What wits?
I am overloaded. This, I’ve known for years. I think I’m operating at such a high level, I don’t know how to stop.
Maybe this is a blog topic. Let’s psychoanalyze me. LOL! Actually, never mind. Might be scary.
I can totally relate, graduate school is tough especially when you are working. I graduated, went to graduate school full time. I had a prof that was known as one of the toughest and one that gave the most assignments. He gave us problems to solve that would take us days just to do the calculations for one problem (before PCs)! I finished the first semester and dropped out of the program because I had gotten a full time job toward the end of the semester, no way could I do both. He was the only professor in that area of study so I would have had to take a couple more classes from him.
Years later, there were some changes to the program to gear it towards people who were working and also changed the focus of my studies, the Chair of the department convinced me to come back since I had 10 credits already. It worked out much better taking late afternoon classes although it took much longer to get my masters.
Some professors are not realistic in the amount of time they require for their work. They expect you to spend 100% of your time on THEIR CLASS so it really will be difficult if you are working. Find a program that caters to your needs.
You’re totally right about finding a program that fits. I really enjoyed taking American studies courses when I was enrolled as a Ph.D. student — but the workload was impossibly hard, especially for someone working a full-time job (and one that requires grading papers when I got home) and freelancing on the side. I think the part-time writing won out.
Good luck Cat! Just reading the title, “Disjuncture and Difference in the Global Cultural Economy” I got a little groggy.
Nah, I really do hope you stick it out and get your graduate degree. My daughter went back to school to get her MBA and she hasn’t regretted it. It took her just over a year but it was well worth it.
Yeah, but this would be for my Ph.D. — and it will take six years or longer, especially at the rate I’m going! ACK!
I am sure you have had the conversation with students just starting school where you say, ‘if this does not increase the odds of achieving your objectives… do something else.’ Frankly downstream I can see where having a PhD would mess well with your fiancee’s life. I’ve seen a lot of married folk teaching at the same university. With the PhD you are treated much better at a four year institution.
I suspect after you read “Disjuncture and Difference in the Global Cultural Economy” by Arjun Appadurai you may have your answer. You like to read but i suspect you like to choose what you read. If you can weather the storm of reading what others choose for you to read maybe this is a good path for you.
Hey, teaching at UH might be more your cup of tea than KCC. They are sister institutions aren’t they? I’ve heard HPU is pretty good, a growing program full of international students. Last I checked a lot of PhD programs pay a reasonable wage while you are there.
BTW: shame on the folks telling you to drop the blog… maybe I am selfish or maybe this thought I am about to share is real… but I think part of who you are as a person is tied into this blog and you’d actually be less productive if you weren’t doing it. I can remember the times I was so busy with so many balls in the air I thought I would cut back… net result was I got way less done instead of more. And my enjoyment of life went to hell in a hand basket.
These are interesting times for you no doubt. Tough choices. Uncertain future. But one thing I am sure future hubby loves about you is that you can make yourself happy without him. Every man longs to find that. So keep that single lady mentality throughout matimony and the rest of your life and you will both be a lot happier.
LOL, I know what you mean about figuring it out once I’m done reading that oh-so-riveting essay!
Maybe I should write my dissertation on blogging — then I could kill two birds with one stone. Or one dense cake donut. 🙂
One? 🙂 Maybe one dozen…
mesh not mess… matrimony not matimony… DAMN typos
Fat thumbs? That’s my problem! 🙂
Hey Cat: … I have absolutely no advice to give you … haha … because I can’t fathom how much reading that is … a page worth of your blog is more than enough for me … if the reading was, say, 1,300 1-page blogs, then no problem … damn, wait a second, I don’t think I could do that in a week either …
… all I’ll say is that you’re young and with enough freedom to choose and try just about anything … that you really WANT to do … but it seems to me that you’re on the fence with this one …
… the real questions … that only you can answer … is “Why are you doing this?” … and “Are you committed?” …
… I take it that you have a clear goal in mind in taking this torturous class …
Those are the real questions, for sure. In fact, those are questions every college instructor should ask their students. I don’t think students think about that often — Why am I here? Am I really committed? — and no one can answer these questions but you.
Man, you’re making me do a lot of soul-searching this early in the morning! I need a Diet Coke!
Hello Cat! You do so much as it is already, how do you do it? Sometimes you just got to do what you got to do and just bite the bullet. Good Luck!
cliff notes? surely you’ve seen the movies to what he’s asking you to read already,yes?
on the contrary side….this may be exactly what you need to get through the current situation. Doing more stuffs! No down time, just busy busy and go go! Time will fly,you’ll sleep better.There will be no time for sadness or longing. And the surfing,hiking,dog-walking will be great exercize, clear the head, and kick in the much needed endorphins. I say FILL THAT PLATE!!! But of course,i’m only cheering from the side lines…… If anything needs to be cut, cut movies and tv.Only need to watch some news and Hawaii 5-0. So………..get a new pair of running shoes,and run.Run like the wind, and sign up for another class! Onward and upward…….
Cut movies and TV? I don’t even watch those now! I think I’ll be cutting out eating — which isn’t such a bad thing.
I’ve done non-degree programs. Well after formal schooling, I went back and became fluent in Spanish, near-fluent in Italian, and dabbled a bit in French, Greek, Arabic, and Japanese. That was just for fun, and I loved it.
I have done graduate degree programs also (three times). I loved the coursework and meeting my fellow students also, but I never finished. Whenever I had to choose between school and paycheck, I always chose paycheck. Things have gotten better, but short-notice work travel and successful completion of graudate program coureswork do not go well together.
Sorry to be a buzzkill. I am much more enthusiastic about the Honolulu-Madison situation. “Life itself is the proper binge.” (Julia Child)
Paycheck is nice. I can’t argue that!
About Honolulu-Madison… I still haven’t figured out what I’m going to do in a year… I mean, by then, his time there will be half over. Maybe I’ll just visit often — and blog about it!
maybe ya’ll can meet in the middle. Say like in Wyoming or Utah.
I’ve thought about going back to school. then, I look at my tivo play list and realize i don’t have time.
TiVo! I can’t even subscribe to that because I won’t ever be able to watch any of it!
CAT: Go fo eet! Nothing beats education. It may not result in professional advancement but it sure makes one’s mind more fluid and opens up the thinking neurons!
So far, this is the best advice ever 😀