I’ve been on a lot of bad first dates.
And if not bad, very questionable.
I was ditched at a restaurant conveniently when the check arrived. I went on a blind date with a friend’s coworker who brought his roommate — both hammered. I even went on a first date to a wedding.
I think it’s safe to say I know a thing or two about first dates — and what not to do.
For example, first dates should be memorable — but not so memorable it’s all you can remember about the date. Like bringing a head of broccoli in lieu of flowers. (Yes, this has happened to me.)
And you also want it to be fairly casual. You don’t want to make your date uncomfortable with a lavish trip to Paris, the real city or the Vegas version. But you shouldn’t make the date so casual it doesn’t seem special. Like taking her to Safeway. (Yes, true story.)
My last first date was on a hike up Mariner’s Ridge. I took two dogs — Sunny and a friend’s dog whom I was dog-sitting — and met the guy at the trailhead. It was the perfect first date for us: we both like being active outdoors and the hike — about 40 minutes to the summit — gave us enough time to talk and get to know each other.
Suffice it to say, we grabbed lunch after and the rest is history.
First dates should be fun, simple and interesting, with the whole goal of getting to know this new person. Avoid places where conversations can’t happen, like movie theaters, loud concerts or clubs. And avoid situations where you can get stuck with someone you don’t like — or worse, who annoys you. No long drives to the North Shore, no jaunts to Lanai. As cool as these dates may sound, they can freak out your date or lead to disaster.
Trust me, I know.
Here are my Top 10 first date suggestions:
Gravy dip
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To read all of Cat’s blogs, visit www.nonstophonolulu.com/thedailydish. Follow Cat on Twitter @thedailydish or send her an e-mail at [email protected].
18 Comments
Good blog Cat … like the Yakiniku (food) angle from a couple perspectives. First, it the person won’t eat kimchi he or she would be out with me. And, if it’s a good burger and fries, if the person doesn’t eat with gusto and is afraid of getting their fingers greasy or a little ketchup or mustard on their cheek then it is bye, bye. But perhaps even more important if someone doesn’t tip well then that is a pretty good sign that he or she isn’t my type. And if the person tips in cash, that is a huge plus.
Great topics and things to do for casual dates. Especially doing a physical activity is out of the norm vs a typical coffee shop setting. Too bad it is hard to do some of these at night though.
I think another great idea for a relaxing day-time date would be lunch at the Contemporary Art Museum if you are into art https://www.tcmhi.org/mi_cafe.htm.
Good list!
When I was in high school a good first date would either be at Hawaiian Brians or just a lunch at the beach. Of course the real fun ones I remember actually happened while going ghost hunting up Tantalus and Morgan’s corner. Haha… goodtimes.
Several years ago a coworker and I went to lunch at Sunset Grill at Restaurant Row. It was a large office and ppl from different depts. dated sometimes. Anyway, when it came time to pay, my card was declined, (hey, I was an irresponsible young kid and didn’t pay down the balance), so she wound up paying… EMBARRASSING! Then, on the way back to the office downtown, we were caught in a downpour. We were completely soaked. My apt. was in Harbor Court, so we popped up there to dry ourselves and our clothes off, (no, no funny business, LOL!) Anyway, we were both over an hour late getting back and had to deal with that as well…
I thought that is was a disaster, and that I’d never live it down. She on the other hand thought it was very memorable (in a good way) date! Although it didn’t pan out, we remain good friends to this day and still laugh about it!
@MaxMaxMax Oh the joys of dealing with paying for the date. I went on a first date where he forgot his wallet all together. Luckily for him, his roommate drove down to the restaurant with his wallet to cover him. We were friends before so it wasn’t a deal-breaker, but not something you want to happen on the first date.
Good ideas! I’m not too into the outdoor activity first dates, but these are pretty good! Hmmm we should collaborate on nightmare blind date stories.
The conversation has to go both ways. Neither party dominating the conversation. Probably a bad sign that one of the parties starts off every sentence with “I” or “I’m” and uses “want” or “looking for” every once in a while.
Never had the experience of losing my wallet yet, thank goodness. That would be rather embarrassing and cliche like.
Bistro’s or coffee shops are nice. Something to munch on and something hot/cold to drink.
Don’t forget to set your iPhone Fake Call app to ring sometime after the established meeting time… just in case. You can always shut it off if the date is progressing well. (Ummm, this was suggest by a coworker. Yeah, that’s the story and I’m sticking to it.)
I have had some excellent and some not so excellent first dates (the worst end up being first-and-only-dates). After dinner on one first date, we went back to her apt for a glass of wine. About 30 minutes later, the police broke in her front door, arrested her and she was charged that night with threatening a prosecutor(public official). I waited in the jail/courthouse building for about 7 hrs and bailed her out the next morning. I could have bolted, but did not. Never did get my $650 bail money back.
@WildeOscar Ding Ding Ding Ding… We have a winner folks! Duuuuuuuude, that is harsh!
The “Lauhala and Lunch” picnic service at the Contemporary Museum of Art is also a pretty good thing to do. https://www.tcmhi.org/mi_cafe.htm. You get a basket and mat, and you can eat anywhere on-site and then check out the museum after.
CAT,
I don’t have first dates anymore…too old, too fat, too poor. But I loved to take dates to musical events or plays. Not many dug it. My taste in music is classical…that limited my choices. My taste in fuud is French…not many like escargot. My taste in plays or movies is European…that is only one of the nine continents. Any nerdy women out there???!!
What’s a first date? I’ve always wound up in longer term romances with someone that I hung out with for some time… sort of grew together. A real official first date is too intimidating.
lol the head of broccoli still cracks me up.
@johngarcia I still don’t quite understand Cat’s Broccoli reference. In lieu of flowers you get a head of Broccoli. Maybe he was under the impression Cat is allergic to flowers.
Coming from a guy’s point of view???!!! At least buy a package of Broccoli Flowerettes. Pre cut, wash, cook, and eat. lol.
@harrycovair haha I thought it was an awesome idea. Heck, he got into her… blog at least! 😉
i once told AC Shilton about my last first date: she was way out of my league. i figured i never had a chance. i was so nervous. i drank too much. i talked to much. we’ve been married for 27 years.
The zoo is a great first date. Lots of interesting animals to talk about, nice outdoor setting, you can easily walk into Waikiki after to get a bite to eat if things go well.
@Patrick good thought, Patrick. Actually, that would make a pretty good 51st date, too.