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Where to spread my ashes: the list is long!

By Catherine Toth Fox • October 17, 2012 • Musings, The Daily Dish

I’m going to apologize in advance for this morbid topic.

I blame the fact that I hang out with 60-year-olds.

But one morning we started talking about our plans post-death.

One guy wants his ashes spread at his favorite surf break in Waikiki. Another wants his spread back on Molokai, where he’s from. And another wants someone — probably me — to lug his ashes to Paris and watch the sunset from the steps at the Basilique Sacré-Coeur.

It made me think about my plans once I die.

It’s not something I think about much since 1) I’m pretty healthy and 2) I’m fairly young. But you never know when your time is up, and it’s probably a good idea to share with others now — while you’re still alive! — what you want for your funeral or memorial service.

I don’t think I could pick a single place to spread my ashes. Maybe under the Eiffel Tower, at Queen’s in Waikiki, into the Pacific Ocean during an episode of aurora borealis, or at Rainbow Drive-In. There are just too many places I want to be!

But I do know one thing: when I die, I want a party. I want people to eat, drink, talk story and have fun. I don’t want anyone to cry or worry or wonder. Just know when I’m gone, it’s fine. Time just ran out on the video game and I did my personal best.

Have you thought about this, too?

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About the Author

Catherine Toth Fox

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10 Comments

  • Reply jaydee October 17, 2012 at 8:20 am

    Well, as I am nearing the end of my days here, I’ve thought about this before. First, I don’t even know if I want to be cremated.But if I do I think I’d like my ashes to be spread on my favorite golf course in Hawaii, Ko Olina. I just want my usual group of golf buddies to go out, golf a round then sprinkle my ashes in the 18th greenside bunker. Might as well, I usually end up hitting out of there anyway. lol

  • Reply Annoddah Dave October 17, 2012 at 8:34 am

    CAT: i shall be cremated and put in a metal box with the rest of my family in a family crypt. My father bought the site for the family and there is enough room for a couple of generations….at least for my kids as well. While spreading dust over your favorite spot(s) is fine, nothing like being with family because that is where you came from and that is where your love is.

  • Reply rayboyjr October 17, 2012 at 9:23 am

    Hey Cat … does having your ashes scattered mean your spirit with linger there forever??? … I mean, say you spread your ashes near Rainbows… but then, 15 years later they tear down the building to build an apartment building … that would be strange …

    … maybe best to be scattered somewhere that will never be redeveloped … the ocean, the mountains, beaches …

    … I won’t be cremated so I don’t think I’ll have that problem …

  • Reply uncleb October 17, 2012 at 9:31 am

    I have a plot at Mililani Memorial Park. However, I’ve decided that I would rather be cremated and have my ashes spread in the ocean at the North Shore since I’ve done many a photo session there.

  • Reply M October 17, 2012 at 9:58 am

    Hello Cat,
    I have thought about this before because I’m getting up there in age. I thought about scattering my ashes at the beach house so I will always be there having the best time of my spirit life.

  • Reply Masako October 17, 2012 at 4:57 pm

    I’ve thought of this before and like you Cat, I want to be spread all over the place. My number one spot is Hanami-Koji Street (花見小路) in Gion Kyoto. It is one of my favorite places in Japan. I’ve spent hours there Geisha and Maiko stalking, I think they are the most esquiste people in the world, truly magical. If I believed in reincarnation, I would like to come back as a Geisha. Other places include Machu Picchu, under the Eiffel Tower, Disneyland, Kealakekua bay, near the Golden Gate Bridge, and a little bit buried with my pets ashes. Wow if I want those wishes carried out I better get a big insurance policy so my kids can do it.

  • Reply dbjack October 17, 2012 at 6:16 pm

    Not really that morbid… for me there is a place in Kaneohe Bay right off the end of the runway at KMCAS where the wind can be pretty intense. Used to sail my Nacra 5.8 by there grinning ear to ear. That is one place. The next place to put some ashes is off the rock at Waimea… loved to jump off that thing. Last but not least walk out to the end of the jetty at the Ala Wai, paddle out to the last buoy to make the turn to the Diamond Head buoy and drop the rest there. It is where the fun began on the Friday night yacht races.

    Greetings from Manaus Brazil!

  • Reply DIO October 17, 2012 at 9:43 pm

    Masako: You don’t want a little bit scattered at Hanabatake, so you can laugh for all eternity? 😆

  • Reply Lady K October 18, 2012 at 5:33 am

    Hello Catherine. I live in Iran and I want to divide my ashes into four parts and spread them in four places of my country : northern sea of Iran called Khazar sea, southern golf called Persian Golf, a desert called Kavir Lout in middle of Iran, and finally on the hillside of a mountain called Bozgush in northwest of Iran where my parents were born. Last year when my father passed away I thought about that. But we are Muslims and I don’t think that my family agree with my last demand.

  • Reply eddyo October 18, 2012 at 7:09 am

    Good morning Cat,

    what my mrs & me came up with was whoever goes first holds on to the ashes, when the other passes on, our relatives scatter our combined ashes at a beach of significance on the Big Island where we live. That way, she can teach me how to swim!

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About Me

About Me
Born and raised on O‘ahu, Hawaiʻi, Catherine Toth Fox has been chronicling her adventures in her blog, The Cat Dish, for more than a decade. She worked as a newspaper reporter in Hawai‘i for 10 years and continues to freelance—in between teaching journalism, hitting the surf and eating everything in sight—for national and local print and online publications. She’s currently the editor of HAWAIʻI Magazine.

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