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Your best advice for a happy marriage

By Catherine Toth Fox • July 25, 2012 • Musings, The Daily Dish

Ever since getting married a month ago, people — even complete strangers — have offered their best advice for a happy marriage.

I’ve heard everything from keep separate bank accounts to keep your last name. The most frequently doled-out advice, of course, has been this: “Happy wife, happy life.” Hmm. I’d have to agree. (smile)

I browsed a few websites recently, looking for some interesting tips. One woman told her daughter to take golf lessons so she could hit the course with her husband. Another said plan “My Turn” nights with the remote control so both the husband and wife could watch what they wanted on TV. (I say get separate TVs!)

I like this one: “Before I said ‘I do,’ my mom (who’s been married to my dad for 55 years) told me to take out a piece of paper and write down the top three things that bugged me about my husband-to-be. Then she told me to forget the things on that list and forgive him for not being flawless. Once you make a commitment this big, she explained, you can’t let petty things get in the way. In our eight years of marriage, my husband and I have had two kids, tackled cross-country moves and started two businesses — and so far, so great.”

If only I could narrow that list down to three…

(Just kidding.)

What’s the best advice you’ve received?

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13 Comments

  • Reply Rodney July 25, 2012 at 7:34 am

    Expect change and move with it. Things will always be changing for good and bad, you need to learn to accept and/or adapt to it. Best thing our pastor told us during counseling.

  • Reply bumper July 25, 2012 at 7:56 am

    Nurture yourselves as individuals. A happy marriage requires people who are, first, happy on their own.

    Also, communicate well and have lots of fun together. Life only gets more hectic as you add a mortgage, bills, kids, retirement, etc. to the mix. It’s so important to remain committed and in sync, and over time, that takes effort, even in the best of marriages.

    Congratulations!

  • Reply Ty July 25, 2012 at 7:59 am

    “Effective” Communication

  • Reply Patrick July 25, 2012 at 9:01 am

    Definitely separate TVs.

  • Reply jaydee July 25, 2012 at 9:58 am

    “When the Queen is happy, the kingdom is happy.”

    Have a great life you two!

  • Reply M July 25, 2012 at 1:09 pm

    Hello Cat,

    Communication,understanding each others wants and needs and supporting each other.

  • Reply M July 25, 2012 at 1:15 pm

    One more thing, Derek, just say yes dear all the time… 🙂

  • Reply Keiko July 25, 2012 at 2:28 pm

    Ignore what bugs you. Don’t expect him to meet all your needs — that’s what your girlfriends and mother are for. Get over yourself. Give compliments whenever they occur to you. Say yes MOST of the time 😉

  • Reply David Jackson July 25, 2012 at 2:35 pm

    Take care of your money.

  • Reply gigi-hawaii July 26, 2012 at 7:09 am

    Accept his flaws just as he accepts yours!

  • Reply king katonk July 26, 2012 at 11:31 am

    Derek,

    Repeat after me…

    “Yes, dear…”
    “You’re right, dear…”
    “It will never happen again…”

    After 15 years of marriage it still works for me.

  • Reply zzzzzz July 26, 2012 at 2:38 pm

    Enough extra bedding (pillows, blankets, comforters, etc) that neither one can hog all of them.

  • Reply snow August 7, 2012 at 12:16 pm

    live by the golden rule, in marriage especially! whatever you expect of your husband, you should expect of yourself. oh, and that mars and venus thing… it’s true! ;o) lol.

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About Me

About Me
Born and raised on O‘ahu, Hawaiʻi, Catherine Toth Fox has been chronicling her adventures in her blog, The Cat Dish, for more than a decade. She worked as a newspaper reporter in Hawai‘i for 10 years and continues to freelance—in between teaching journalism, hitting the surf and eating everything in sight—for national and local print and online publications. She’s currently the editor of HAWAIʻI Magazine.

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