Last night I was writing a blog post for Startle.com about tipping etiquette on Oahu.
And it got me thinking about our tipping culture in general.
There’s really no difference in the way we tip in Hawaii versus anywhere else in the United States. But I know this is more of a cultural obligation. People who work in the service industry — and this is true for Hawaii — tend to get paid far less than other jobs, the idea being they will make it up in tips. Relying on tips to boost your income is supposed to mean you work harder for them. You’re nicer, you’re more courteous, you’re more helpful, you go the extra mile. That may translate to better tips — your reward for doing a stellar job.
Unless you’re from Japan.
In Japan, you don’t tip. (Though this may be changing a little.) You’ll get the kind of service they pride themselves in giving, and they don’t expect anything in return. If your check comes and you owe 2100 yen, that’s all you owe. You don’t have to try and figure out what 25 percent of 2100 yen is. Breathe.
And this made me think about tipping in general.
We tip for everything. The woman in the bathroom who’s handing you a paper towel. The kid selling newspapers at the intersection. The Sandwich Artist at Subway who leaves a tip jar at the register. All of these people expect tips.
In Japan, it doesn’t exist.
This results in two things: 1) No pressure from customers to tip and 2) no pressure on workers to earn those tips.
Personally, I don’t like tipping. I worked in industries that relied on it, and it didn’t necessarily change the way I served people. I did the best I could no matter what, and I didn’t factor tips into my take-home pay. Frankly, it was stressful and I would rather just earn my hourly wage than worry about tips, even if I could make 10 to 20 percent more.
On the flip side, I don’t like to judge service with tips. I just want to pay the bill — with the service included — and not worry about it.
So what do you think: is our tipping culture stressful or do you think it promotes better service? Let the debate begin!
26 Comments
I don’t like tipping… and don’t eat out ever anymore. Traveling in most of Asia is great because I don’t have to tip. Does anyone know how tipping got started? Was it to get preferential treatment???
Hello Cat,
I don’t like tipping, they are providing a service to you and that’s part of their job. I’ll be heading for Japan on Monday for 2 weeks and no tipping there. No tipping the wait service, no tipping the bell person, the room service, the cab, no tipping period. I tried to leave a tip on the table after my meal and the waitress went after me and gave me back the tip. In Japan they take pride in what they do without tips and that’s how it should be.
CAT: It has become a cultural thing in the US. But, some workers think they are owed a tip. The smallest tip I ever gave was 25 cents at a dinner restaurant. I was eating alone, place was packed, waitress forgot about me. I noticed the busboy bust’n his butt to change covers so I walked over to him and gave him a $5 tip because he seemed like the only one working his tail off. He was shocked… this was in the 70s. I have mellowed but am still confused about the 15 and 20 percent tip standard. When the minimum wage went up so did the tip percentage. What happened to 10 percent as the standard?
It doesn’t happen in most of Europe either. In fact, I was told by a local to avoid tipping there; it’s seen as snooty and assuming. You can leave any extra coins remaining from your change, but certainly not a hefty 20%. I tip in America because it’s part of the culture, but I do so according to the quality of service I receive. One reason why I rarely eat out is because I always factor in the tip and then it just seems too pricey to justify. And how did the expectation go up from 10% to 20%, anyway? I also don’t tip on takeout, at the coffee bar, or to every service worker out there (valets are an exception, and even then it’s an affordable $1 or so). You need to draw the line somewhere.
Why does it fall on the customer to beef up service workers’ wages, and not employers? They pass on other operational fees to us anyway. I really don’t understand the whole tipping culture, especially when it’s completely expected, yet also supposedly “at your discretion.” I avoid situations requiring it as much as possible, and I don’t think I’m alone. I doubt that’s good for business.
Never heard about not tipping in Europe. Some places automatically add it to the tab.
Actually, I can’t remember if we had to tip in Europe… I don’t think so. Maybe London?
Did in London, Lyon, and Copenhagen.
People should research local tipping customs wherever they travel. It will vary throughout Europe. Many times, service charges are already included in your final bill or in the menu prices, themselves. (Menus will often tell you this info.) Why add more then? Other times, it’s easy and kind to round up and leave the change in appreciation for good service. In some places, 5% extra may be appreciated, while 10% may seem excessive. Know before you go.
In general, though, haphazardly applying the American tradition of hefty tips is unnecessary and can come across as culturally insensitive. European servers are typically much better paid than American service workers. As such, different standards and expectations often apply.
Hey Cat: I don’t mind tipping … because it’s a part of our culture … I’d prefer not to have to tip though … but it’s something most of us do and that’s ok …
… I think tipping would be a whole lot more meaningful if it wasn’t expected … I know I feel much better tipping when I actually wanted to …
I try to avoid activities that involve tipping, other than eating out at a table-service restaurant and getting my hair cut once every four weeks or so. I avoid riding in taxis, valet parking, and staying in high-end hotels where somebody is going to have my luggage in his hands the second I arrive at the front door.
“Tips welcome” jars on the counter for carryout black coffee? Oh, Pish Tosh! I never tip, as there is no obligation or expectation that I will do so.
All of that said, when I eat out, ride in a taxi, get my hair cut, or have my car returned by parking attendant, I tip well.
My daughter got a second piercing for one of her ears this past weekend, and I personally have never had a tattoo or piercing, so I had no idea about tipping in a tattoo/piercing establishment. While she was getting her ear pierced in the back room, I noticed a sign about tipping being welcome, so I made sure we gave the piercer a decent tip. If I hadn’t seen the sign, I wouldn’t have slipped my daughter some cash to offer as a tip.
Tack-on comment. I like the picture you included. Those Euro coins are huge and heavy. A day or two of making small purchases, and my pockets are heavy enough to pull my pants down. So as not to create an international incident by accidentally displaying my American flagpole and flashing royalty or border guards, I get rid of those Euro coins every chance I get, including tipping even when I shouldn’t.
I do feel weird about tip jars, especially when the people working aren’t providing any extra service. I think it’s gotten out of hand!
Do you tip at a buffet? They take away your dish and fill your drinks but does that justify a 15% tip or a tip at all?
10% for Buffets. 15-20% for served meals.
That’s a good question, actually. I always leave money on the table. But you’re right, you’re doing all the work!
I always tip at least 20% unless service is horrendous. That being said, I do this because I have worked in the food and beverage industry for many years and understand what severs’ base pay usually is. If any of you have a friend or family member working in the device industry. Ask them about their base pay.
Sorry. service industry. Not device industry.
Me, too. If you’ve worked in the service industry, I think you tip better. 🙂
tipping shmipping… what’s the deal with tipping anyway? I know it’s a US culture now, but still…
I think Mr. Pink (from reservoir dogs) said it best:
I don’t tip because society says I have to. Alright, I tip when somebody really deserves a tip. If they put forth an effort, I’ll give them something extra. But I mean, this tipping automatically, that’s for the birds. As far as I’m concerned they’re just doing their job.
Mr. Blue: You don’t care if they’re counting on your tips to live?
Mr. Pink: [rubbing his middle finger and thumb together] You know what this is? The world’s smallest violin playing just for the waitresses.
Mr. White: You don’t have any idea what you’re talking about. These people bust their a$$. This is a hard job.
Mr. Pink: So is working at McDonald’s, but you don’t see anyone tip them, do you? Why not, they’re serving you food. But no, society says don’t tip these guys over here, but tip these guys over here. It’s bullshi*!
Not trying to spoil the ending, but Mr. Pink does quite well for himself, so perhaps his theory on tipping has a reverse Karma effect.
It’s not just Japan. Most asian countries do not tip or expect to be tipped
I eat at the same paces a lot so when the wait staff knows what you like its a plus. but now a days they put a tip sheet on the bottom of your reicept and its as high as 25% and as low as 18%
Started listening to this podcast and thought it was timely: https://www.freakonomics.com/2013/06/03/should-tipping-be-banned-a-new-freakonomics-radio-podcast/
Haven’t formulated an opinion yet, but being a weird macro math fan, I always enjoy the economics perspective on things.
I normally tip 15 to 20 percent and sometimes more if service is great. A buck seems fair at a tip jar along with any coins in change (just hate carrying coins.) There was a time that tips would fill my car with gas. I feel blessed now that I have more than I need and see a tip as just part of eating out.
I hate to tip and only go about 15%. I don’t think I should tip at buffets or what was sizzler’s as I did all the work. Really I could get my food myslef anyway it’s not that hard and they seem so busy. One time at the Row Bar I tipped the cocktail waitress a quarter and she threw it on the ground. After that I get all my drinks directly from the bar and forget about ANY cocktail waitresses. Why should I tip a cocktail waitress a dollar or two for getting me a beer every ten minutes? That’s absurd.
I find this subject to be very interesting and glad you chose to address it. My husband and I are from the Mainland and have been here for about 14 years. It takes time to become fully acquainted with the expectations, attitudes and social practices of any new city/town to live, and with Hawaii being so culturally diverse, it is a journey to become at one with the people if you are going to live here and no longer be just a repeat visitor or classic tourist.
We are pretty aware of how it goes with the issue of tipping and the spreadsheet of different opinions about paying additional money for the services that are involved with restaurants and hotels. So with Hawaii being a major tourist capital that it is, being dependant mostly on the “tourist dollar” given by people from other countries and the U.S. the subject of tipping ettiquette is something that should be especially addressed. My husband has been to Japan for a couple of years as a resident and also again on some intermittant extended work stays, and I ( and other people) have been impressed at his graciousness and respect for the Japanese’ manners. So needless to say, there are no stumblings or embarrassing moments when we are in the company of Japanese hosts or select moments of briefly meeting anyone from Japan that does not speak english. On the other hand, I am not as versed and look to him with eye contact and open ears to be sure to act graciously when in the presence of the Japanese, which really has up until now been limited to restaurant dinners and some music/entertainment shows. I have recently though, within the last year been working in a venue where the strongest demographic customer is Japanese and I now feel excited about learning some key sentences and phrases because I want to extend myself to them.
As well, we are both versed with the world of restaurants and entertainment, valet, housekeeping, room service waiters, waitresses, bartenders, busboys, cooks, head chefs, hostesses, matre‘d’s and more that I cannot think of at this moment….and we realize the importance of tipping and do so accordingly. To me, tipping is a reflection of one’s “social experience” and is a display of awareness of an employee that is assigned to you as the patron. It shows that a patron is either an uncouth baffoon or an appreciative and poised individual. Either way, if you are an underpaid but hard working soul, who has diligently saved…or if you are a wealthy person who is a repeat traveler or venue customer, who has experienced a venue that is staffed with service employees….if tipping were a book, it would be an encyclopedia of examples that shows what type of experience that patron has.
I have seen the comments from others who have read your blog and anxiously addressed this topic with a lot of gusto. From the answering I see, most of these people just have not really experienced the social expression of appreciation for good service, or perhaps they have never visited a well managed venue where the servicing employees make it their goal to please you. Also, in all fairness, I will say that when ya go to more of the restaurants that cater to the middle-class families with several children, with cheering and laughter, loud piped-in music, and sports-bar televisions, the busy-ness and hustle of it all makes for great debate. The thing that annoys me in the more casual restaurants are when the waiters and waitresses address the adult customers as “guys”. i.e. “ Hi there! What can I get you guys?!” or “Are you guys still workin’ on that?” or “Would you guys like some dessert?” And also, when the servers go away for long periods and the dining room is just not that busy. This doesn’t necessarily decide how much we will tip them….it simply reflects on the restaurant chain as a whole and that their management is not training their staff properly. Management is the key to all. In all business walks of life, some become managers based on hard work and self awareness, and some become managers because there is a hole to fill and they got lucky and got the job.
We have been in the company of very experienced and poised people, who tip, and also in the company of amazing cheap-skates who in the end are a total embarrassment, who will return food continuously, complain about the service and excuse themselves from the table early leaving “their share” of the bill, and they slither away to avoid any tipping. They are the ones who are “takers” and “give” is just not in their vocabulary, unless it is about someone giving to them. They are unfortunate. Two sides to the coin. My personal favorite though…..the girlfriend / co-worker who always says: “Let’s go to lunch!”, makes splitting the bill a low-class project ( and leaves a small or no tip) and doesn’t understand the concept of “the cordial 5 go to lunch / the tab is split 5 ways and the tip is calculated equally”.
Tipping: A giving of a gratuity. Gratuity: A demonstration of gratitude. Both of which can be extended with coin, dollar bills or…..if you just can’t, because you just can’t afford it, then if there is a compliment deserved for the server or valet or other, write it on your bill and cast your thumbs up praise on the good service you received. Even if they are paid employees. So when you get down to it, giving or giving extra is a demonstartion of your heart, conscience and character.