I was meaning to get that recipe for peppermint bark John Heckathorn, beloved food critic and longtime friend, posted on his Facebook wall on Dec. 23.
He was making it for his daughter, Mallory, who excited commented, “You made this?! YAY!”
(She even reposted the photo to her Facebook wall and declared, “MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” This is a very socially connected family.)
But two days later, early Christmas morning, John, just 65, suffered a heart attack and never regained consciousness. We were all rooting for him, even banking on his legendary stubbornness to pull through. We half-expected John to get up, look around and ask, “Where’s the party?”
But he didn’t. And it’s a loss too great to describe.
So many knew John — and in different ways. Some had him as an English professor at the University of Hawaii at Manoa. Others remember him as the editor and longtime food critic at HONOLULU. Some took his new media classes at Hawaii Pacific University, where he was an assistant professor. Others served him signature cocktails, called for advice, listened to him on the radio and read his blog.
He had 701 Facebook friends, 108 Twitter followers, and legions of fans around the world.
I had known John for years, back when he was editor of HONOLULU when it was located on Merchant Street. (He and his wife, Barb, were friends of my parents.) I remember visiting his office for the first time, back when I was in college, and he got lost in the building giving me a tour.
That was John.
Over the years he has been a mentor, an inspiration and a friend. I can’t tell you how many letters of recommendations he’s written and reference phone calls he’s made for me. I owe a big part of my career to him. He believed in me, even when I didn’t believe in myself. And that meant — still means — a lot to me.
Any of his friends can attest: John loved life. He loved chatting up bartenders, asking questions, indulging in the best food. And he could cook, often texting me images of what he was making that night for dinner, the most recent of which was sausage and peppers. He was like that.
My goal, whenever I was around him, was to make him laugh. I remember talking with him at his office at HONOLULU and telling him about the two-line descriptors I had come up with for astrological signs. Pisces, cosmically confused. Aries, annoyingly effervescent.
“So what’s a Scorpio?” he asked, a Scorpio himself.
To which I responded: “Vindictive slut.”
That made him laugh for weeks.
John loved to eat. And he loved to share his favorite spots, too. When I worked at Hawai’i Magazine for a short stint last year, he would often join the editor, Derek Paiva, and me for lunch. Most often we ate at Saigon Restaurant Vietnamese in Chinatown, a restaurant he reluctantly let me blog about since he liked that it was a hidden gem — and that there were never lines during lunch. Even though he went there a lot and he ordered the same things — and he was, after, John Heckathorn, restaurant critic extraordinaire — he could still never tell the wait staff, “I’ll have the usual.” It was pretty comical.
During these lunches, he would argue with Derek about the best way to eat the famous pork chops from Manago Hotel in Captain Cook on the Big Island. (John liked them with gravy; Derek without.) He would tell us what his two daughters, Paige and Mallory, were up to. He would update us on the adventures of Scout (aka: Mini Beast), the little lost kitten Mallory had rescued and was now a permanent fixture in their Kalama Valley home. And he would talk about Barb, the love of his life and a feisty Aries who was really the only person I knew who could tame the Heck. Man, did he love his family.
I could go on and on about John. But Mallory really summed it up best.
Her text to me: “Tell everyone my dad was super kick ass.”
Well said.
9 Comments
Really, really sad. Nice piece, Cat.
Cat, at first I thought you were going to be talking about your boyfriend going home and then realized this was a long time friend and colleague, mentor of yours who suddenly departed. Brought tears to my eyes the shock of sudden death of a friend and family member who was obviously so loved and full of life.
Sorry for your loss Cat. Wish I’d had the privilege of meeting the man.
I’m really sorry your great friend has passed away.Memories are there for you to
pull out of your mind, when there are times that something will remind you of John and
there’ll either be a smile or a tear. Know that he was loved by many and he loved them back. I never met the man, but as I read your piece, I can see that he was an inspiration to you.
God Bless during this time of sorrow.
Thank you for writing this, Cat. Thank you for many things these last few very difficult days.
I was shocked to hear he had passed away. My dad bought me a subscription to Honolulu Mag last year and I looked forward to reading his articles every month. I thought he was a wonderful writer and loved the way he described food. Thanks for shedding a more personal light on him.
How incredibly sad for his family and his many friends and “followers”. I enjoyed him at Hawaii Magazine and Honolulu, will miss his articles. He seemed like someone I would have enjoyed knowing and you have confirmed it. My thoughts and prayers are with all of you in this difficult time.
I enjoyed your articles in Hawaii very much Cat.
Hey Cat … such sad news … but you did a great tribute to a great man …
… I can tell how much he meant to you … and you know what? … I’m sure he was very, very proud of you too! …
I have been reading Gabriel Garcia Marquez’s autobiography, Vivir Para Contarla, and he expresses the sincere belief looking back on 80 years that our life is not so much the actions we took and the events we experienced, but rather the stories. That consists of thd stories we told, and the stories told about us while we’re here, and maybe for a few generations after we’re gone.
I do not mean to minimize his actual touch, but you celebrate through your stories this friend and mentor and he continues to live through those stories.