It’s a hard pill to swallow.
This idea that there are people out there who don’t like us.
But there are.
And a lot of times, we have no idea why.
I have dealt with this my entire life. I remember being the new (read: weird) girl in baton class and knowing that the other twirlers didn’t like me much. They actually never got to know me. And I remember in high school having friends who, for reasons that are still a mystery to me, decided one day to hate me.
Maybe I did something to hurt them. I really don’t know. I never mean to hurt people; it’s not in my DNA. But still, people seem to find something to hate about me — about anyone — and there’s not much we can do about it.
I remember once a coworker thought I had designs for her boyfriend; she did everything she could to get my fired from my job. Had she just asked me, I would’ve told her that I truly, sincerely had no interest in the guy. In fact, I couldn’t even tell you his last name.
I realize sometimes there’s just no explaining why people don’t like each other. (Look at radical forms of religion.) Sometimes it’s jealousy, sometimes it’s just personality conflicts. I get it. But I don’t understand why it has to lead to something so foul. If you don’t like me for whatever reason, fine. But doing things to deliberately hurt me — or anyone — is just ridiculous.
Awhile back, when I first launched my YouTube channel, I did video posts that related to my blog, then being published on The Honolulu Advertiser’s website. I remember one video — I’ve since taken it down — received so much hateful comments — it was to the point of harassment — that just email notifications of comments were making me shake and quiver. I’ve got a pretty thick skin, but I just couldn’t take it anymore.
Underneath my loud, brash and sometimes inappropriate exterior is a very soft, mushy person who cries during animated films and Hallmark commercials — as most of my close friends know — and while I can deal with criticism better than most people, the harsh stuff isn’t always so easy to take.
I’m saying this not because I need an avalanche of kind remarks — though they are always welcome! — but because a lot of people think I must have a million friends, folks who love me no matter what. And maybe I do. But I have my share of haters, too.
When it comes to hate, sadly, we are not alone.